Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 100367 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 502(@200wpm)___ 401(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100367 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 502(@200wpm)___ 401(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
But then I remember what Tucker said about his dad, how Greg’s never met a stranger and he loved welcoming Harper and Zack into the family. I’m grateful that they have done the same for me.
When we’ve pulled up to the house, Tucker opens my door and leads me inside. He’s quiet. He doesn’t look me in the eyes at all.
He’s spiraling. I can feel it.
“There’s nothing you could have done for either of them today,” I tell him, but he’s busy pulling food out of the fridge, still not looking at me. “Tucker.”
“I’m going to make us sandwiches because they’re easy. I need to feed you.”
“Tucker, I want you to look at me.”
“Do you want mustard?”
“TUCKER!”
He turns away from me and throws the bottle of mustard across the room, and it bounces against the wall. I jump in surprise, but not because I’m scared of him. He’s not mad at me, but I don’t know what he needs from me right now, so I stay back, watching as he pushes his hands through his hair and swears under his breath.
So the laid-back, calm man has a trigger. And that’s when his family is hurting.
“I’m so fucking frustrated,” he growls as he paces the kitchen. “I couldn’t do a goddamn thing. I’m the one who takes care of everything. When Dad’s diabetes is bad, I take him to the hospital. I’m the one they call when someone’s sick or hurt or needs help, and I’m the one with answers.”
“Tuck—”
“But I couldn’t help Harper, and I couldn’t do one fucking thing about the fact that my brother is injured in another fucking state. It could be career ending for all I know. There’s nothing to be done, and it’s fucking killing me, Darby. I’m the doer.”
“You can’t always control everything. You can’t fix everything. Sometimes life just happens like this, Tucker.”
He blows out a breath and braces his hands on his hips, and finally looks at me, and the frustration in his eyes breaks my heart.
“I know that you love them so much that you’d do anything for them. Trust me, I get that. And they’ll need you. Harper said herself that she needed you tonight. You’re the one she wanted first because you make her feel stronger. Xander called as soon as he could, and I could hear the relief in his voice when he knew you were there to listen. Whether you could help them in that moment or not, you made it easier on them for being there, and sometimes, that’s all we can do. I know you well enough to know that you’ve never failed any of them when it comes to being there for them.”
Tucker slowly shakes his head, but I keep talking as I cross to him and glide my hands up his arms to his shoulders.
“They’re still going to need you, but I know that watching it all unfold and feeling helpless had to be the single worst few moments of your life. You’re the oldest. You take responsibility for all of them, just the way that Holden does for all of us, and the way I do for my sisters. But you didn’t do anything wrong today. You know that, right?”
He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes with the exhale. “I don’t think I did anything wrong. But I wish that I could have done more.”
“I get it. For most of my life, it was my one ambition to keep my sisters safe from a fucking tyrant, and there were so many times that I couldn’t keep him from them. I had to live with the fact that I couldn’t always protect them. Does that make me a failure? Does that mean that I didn’t do enough?”
“Jesus, of course not.”
“Then why are you being so hard on yourself for things that were absolutely out of your control? Stop being so hard on yourself, Hotshot. Listen, Harper’s great. She’ll recover from the surgery, and Belle is perfect, and everyone is happy. Also, this might be a conversation for another time, but you looked hot as fuck holding that baby.”
His lips twitch and his eyes warm. “Yeah?”
“Fuck yeah. My ovaries were cheering. Also, Xander’s safe. He’ll have tests done, and there will be a plan, and if he needs you, he’ll let you know.”
“I know, you’re right.”
“You can’t protect everyone from everything, Tucker, and it’s not fair to expect that from yourself.”
“Why are you so smart?”
My lips twitch as I lean into him, and his arms finally come around me.
“I’m so glad you finally recognize my genius.”
“So, how sexy did you think I was with that baby?”
“On a scale of one to ten?”
“Yeah, Duchess.”
“Probably about a twenty-six.”
“Is that all?”
“Maybe twenty-seven.” He lowers his lips to mine, and I kiss him lightly. “I could use that sandwich, but I don’t want mustard.”