Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 106774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
“If it makes a difference, I want you to be great,” she whispers.
Hot liquid pools in the corners of my eyes and I blink as furiously as I can. I don’t risk looking at her. I don’t even try to speak. I stare at the wall like a fucking pussy and try not to cry.
“The accident wasn’t your fault, and I hope you know that, Gray. We had no business coming to Denver and you told us as much. But Caroline was too hardheaded to listen and …” Her shoulders rise and fall. “And God had another plan for my big sister.”
“Do you believe that?” I ask, pulling my gaze to hers. “Do you believe she died because God had other plans for Caroline? Or do you think that the whole thing could’ve been avoided if I had driven my ass to the airport and picked the two of you up during a fucking snowstorm? Because one of those things seems more plausible than the other.”
She shifts in her bed, wincing at the movement. “So you’ve decided that you’re smarter than God now? That wasn’t on my Bingo card for this year.”
“Liza …” I sigh, standing up. I need some space—some air. The windows never open in these places, but I stand by it and stare across the courtyard. “I’m sorry.”
“For what, Gray?”
When I don’t answer her, she releases a breath that sounds like it’s been held in her chest since the accident. It’s long and cold, frustrated and angry—and ready to move on. I get that. That’s why I’m here, too.
If it weren’t for Astrid, I wouldn’t have had this conversation with Liza. I would’ve lived with the unknown and guilt for the rest of my life and been satisfied with the punishment. But Astrid makes me want more for myself so I can give it to her.
When I look into her beautiful green eyes and see the pain buried in them, I know I can help. I want to. Sometimes it feels like it’s my reason for being on this earth. But I can’t do that if this part of my life still feels like it’s seeping puss out of an infected wound.
“Will you clear up something for me?” she asks. “Not that it matters now, but it’s something that I’ve always wondered.”
I look over my shoulder at her.
“Were you and Caroline dating when we flew in that night?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
She plants both hands on the white blanket and stares at me. “It matters to me.”
“No,” I say, wandering around the room. “We’d broken up. I’d broken up with her, to be exact. But you know Caroline—she’d fight tooth and nail to get what she wanted, and she claimed to want me.” But that wasn’t true. Maybe at one point it was, but it wasn’t at the end. “I told her not to come, and when she called from the airport, I sent her to voicemail. I had no idea you two flew in or that you were going to drive through a snowstorm to get to my house.”
Liza nods, as if she’s waiting for me to drop a bomb that she suspects is lurking behind the scenes. I look up at her, and our gazes connect. I don’t have to say anything.
Her face falls. “I knew it.”
“She was stealing money from me to buy her drugs,” I say, my voice hollow. “And if I didn’t keep cash around and kept my cards on me, she’d pawn my shit. She stole my teammate’s cash once when he came over to work out. She was out of control.” And nearly ruined my career after rumors started swirling that I was an addict, too.
“Dear God.”
“I got her to go to a rehab. Remember that trip she took to Florida?”
“Yeah. I knew it.”
“I did everything I fucking could, Liza … except I didn’t tell you.” Which just might be my greatest failure of all. “When I finally broke up with her for good, I told her that I was going to call you. She promised me she was breaking the news to you because she was moving into your house. Was that a lie? Half the shit she said was a lie at the end. Was it easier to believe her?” I shrug. “Probably.”
She lifts her chin, tears clouding her eyes again. “And should I have trusted my intuition and prodded her about it? Absolutely. But I didn’t. Caroline was so good at making you believe things, and I fell for it.”
Yeah, I know. That’s how I fell for her.
“I should’ve handled things better,” I say, swallowing past a lump in my throat. “I could’ve helped her more. I could’ve answered that fucking call. But I was being selfish like I always am and—”
“Don’t.” She glares at me. “Don’t act like you’re selfish, Gray Adler. How much money have you paid for my bed in this rehab center?”