Total pages in book: 61
Estimated words: 58874 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 294(@200wpm)___ 235(@250wpm)___ 196(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58874 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 294(@200wpm)___ 235(@250wpm)___ 196(@300wpm)
“Don’t fight with me right now. I can’t stay long.”
“Tor,” he pleaded.
“I mean it. It’s not safe.”
“Said the man who ran toward bullets instead of away from them. Who the fuck does that?”
“Jule,” he sighed.
“Is your father looking for you? Does he know you saw?”
“He knows.” Tor sighed again and reached down between them. He adjusted Jule in his boxers and then zipped and buttoned his jeans. “I think it’s best if you go to school out of state.”
“What? Why? No.”
“Your mother’s been wanting you to do that the whole time anyway. Cali’s nice. You can go there.”
“Since when do I give a fuck what my mother wants? If I move away, I won’t get to see your brothers.” He paused. “Or you, if you ever come back.”
“It’s not forever. Just a few years while things cool down here.”
“Tor.”
“I’ll find a way to call. I’ll come see you when I can.” He kissed Jule gently. “Get out of here, Julie. Go to college. Make friends. Date. Live a normal life.”
“I don’t want normal.”
Tor laughed. “I know. Do it anyway. You can’t destroy your life. I won’t let you.”
“I’m the one destroying my life?” He arched his eyebrows. “Where are you going to college, Tor? Nowhere, that’s where. You were the smartest person in our school. You aced every AP test, and for what? Nothing, that’s what. Don’t tell me I’m the one destroying my life!”
The yelling and accusations didn’t ruffle Tor, nothing ever did. He was the most maddeningly even-keeled person Jule had ever met.
“I’m doing what I need to do.” He kissed Jule softly, tenderly. “Go follow our plan for both of us, even if I can’t do it with you.” He caressed Jule’s cheek. “Get your head back in the game. Go to college. Live a normal life. Please.”
Chapter 6 – Age 21
Jule walked into his apartment with his boyfriend Brad on Friday afternoon, relieved to be done with midterms, and found Tor sitting at his kitchen table. He froze in the doorway, Brad just behind him, and stared.
“Your roommate let me in,” Tor said. He was wearing a pair of jeans that Jule had grabbed and tugged and stripped dozens of times, a hoodie Jule knew had a stain on the back and tears at the hem, even though neither was visible from his current angle, and brown leather boots they’d bought at the St. Vincent de Paul thrift store junior year.
“How long can you stay?”
“Few days.” Tor stood.
Knowing Tor wasn’t going to disappear with his next breath gave Jule time to be angry, which was good because he was furious at how long it had been since he’d heard a single word from him. With that anger front of mind, he stomped around the apartment and mostly ignored Tor other than to glower at him. Tor, of course, said nothing and looked amused. Asshole.
At some point, his roommate Patrick came out of his bedroom with his boyfriend Eric. He stared at Jule, clearly concerned at his demeanor, but Jule had no interest in explaining himself, so he didn’t. Ever the peacemaker, Patrick tried to get to know Tor. So did Patrick’s boyfriend. But Tor wasn’t one to share information with anyone outside the family, so it wasn’t going well. Jule quietly seethed and glared, which wasn’t helping with the vibe. He wasn’t sure how long they had been standing around in a silent, awkward stalemate when, instead of leaving, Brad decided to break the tension in the worst possible way.
“I have a fun idea,” he said excitedly. “Let’s play a drinking game.”
“Never Have I Ever?” said Brad’s friend Henry, who for some reason had just shown up.
“Julian doesn’t like that one. Let’s pick something else,” Patrick said.
He was trying to be nice by giving Jule an out and Jule was about to take it, like he always did, when Brad pouted and said, “Julian never wants to play any drinking games.”
His mind flashed back to Tor’s bedroom, which had felt more like his own bedroom than the one in his mother’s house despite the mess, dirt, and parade of siblings and cousins moving in and out of the small space over the years. The two of them were squeezed together on a twin mattress with an empty six-pack and an old Go Fish card game they had found under a cabinet. They were fourteen, mostly undressed, mostly drunk, and laughing their asses off. They had turned a kids’ game into an excuse to take off their clothes and made out until they passed out.
Henry turned toward Tor, who had uttered almost no words since he’d arrived and still managed to be the loudest person in the room, and said, “Terrance, has your cousin always been such a downer?”
Fingers curling into a fist instinctively, Jule turned toward Henry. He had never liked that condescending prick. Before he could move, Brad leaned into him, clutched his bicep, and in a sickeningly sweet voice said, “I know you don’t enjoy drinking games, but don’t you want your cousin to have fun while he’s here?”