Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 117415 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 470(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117415 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 470(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
“I could spend a lifetime lying here under the stars naming songs with you, TJ. Just like this. You and me. I could just … fuckin’ die happy right here on this stage.”
“While I appreciate that sentiment, a bed might be comfier.”
I smirk. “You suggestin’ somethin’, mister?”
“Maybe.”
A handful of minutes later, we’re in his room, clothes off, and we make more use of the colorfully wrapped rubbery items filling his nightstand drawer.
There’s something different about the way we have sex here. In the hotel, it was all animal. Squeaking beds. Gripping hair and shattering breaths and chaos. Panting. Sweat. Ruffled sheets.
In this bedroom, something sweeter motivates us.
It isn’t that we’re not still aggressive. That I don’t still tug on his hair when we make out or he doesn’t claw his fingertips into me when I slide inside.
Our eyes are more focused, locked on one another’s.
Present.
He truly sees me when I’m naked before him, in more ways than just my clothes being all over the floor.
And I feel like I can truly see him, passion bursting from his eyes like stories out of music. It was the first thing I noticed about him, wasn’t it? The passion in his eyes …
It’s still there.
When we have sex in his room, our breaths rush in and out together like harmony.
Is this the difference between having sex and making love?
Is that what this is?
Are we making love?
“And this one’s Banano,” says TJ, pulling a big, banana-shaped plushie off the shelf. It’s another afternoon when he’s brought me into his new office located in the separate family guesthouse—not to be confused with the guest wing, which is attached to the main house. He claims he’s spent exactly four and a half minutes in here since he’s been home this whole summer. We’re both shirtless, having just come in from another dip in the pool. “He’s … really squishy. Like, super-duper-duper squishy. Handle with care.”
I gently take the plushie, treating it with as much tenderness as he just did. It has a cute, lopsided face. It’s so soft that no matter how I hold it, its whole face contorts. I can’t help but smile back, looking at it. “The first creature you came out to.”
“Unless you count Cole Harding as a creature. His unnatural beauty sort of qualifies him. That perfect man is not human.”
I give Banano a little kiss on the forehead, then return him to the shelf. “Your collection of stuffed animals is so dang cute.”
“Plushies. Not stuffed animals. And you better be glad I’m not a jealous type,” he says, “having the audacity to kiss Banano like that in front of me.”
I smirk at him. “Says the guy who just called this Cole dude a ‘perfect man’ with ‘unnatural beauty’ …”
“First, he’s engaged to a lovely guy named Noah who works at the Spruce Press. Second, you’ll understand when you meet him.”
“When I meet him?”
“Yeah, of course.” He shrugs, all matter-of-fact. “I want you to meet all my friends.” After a thought, he adds: “Eventually. Like, when it’s safe … or whatever.”
I don’t know why the idea hits me so hard. Like I hadn’t even considered meeting anyone else in his life outside this house.
Or maybe it’s his use of the word “safe”.
Like some part of me isn’t.
“Told my mom not to tell anyone yet. Other than Dad. About us.” He leans back against his desk, looking all sexy in just a pair of shorts, tempting me just by existing. “She thinks it’s just because I want to come out in my own time. And that’s sorta true. But … she doesn’t know the full reason. Like, the other half of the reason.”
“Chase Holt being that other half,” I finish for him.
“Bingo.” He always sounds so cute when he says that. But in this particular moment, the cuteness is lost. “She’ll scream. When I tell her, I mean. It’s her dream for me to be with someone who’s got music in their blood. But … I won’t tell her until it’s okay,” he quickly assures me. “I know your anonymity here is paramount.”
“Paramount,” I echo, amused at his choice of word. I guess the temptation wins, as I rush up to him and wrap my arms around his sexy waist, tugging his body against mine. “I trust your parents.”
“Yeah, but do I trust them? My mom is dying to brag to Nadine that she’s got a gay son. Dying. And once Nadine knows, the whole town will know. That’s how it works here.”
“Well, come your Fourth of July Boomin’ Barbecue thing, I’ll be meetin’ the whole town anyway. Someone’s bound to recognize me. So the real question is … do you trust your town?”
He squints. “What do you mean?”
“If everyone finds out. Would the town keep a secret?” I put a kiss on his cheek. Then his neck. He bites his lip and rocks his head back. “Would Spruce … protect you? Keep you safe?” I kiss under his chin, then place kisses down the center of his neck to his chest. “If a reporter dropped in … or one of my fans tracks us here …”