Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 69468 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 347(@200wpm)___ 278(@250wpm)___ 232(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 69468 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 347(@200wpm)___ 278(@250wpm)___ 232(@300wpm)
I’d hurt enough people for one lifetime. I refused to add Carson to the mix. Yet my throat closed around my usual warning that I wasn’t looking for anything serious. That wasn’t precisely true where Carson was concerned. Fear and uncertainty raced up my spine, making me swallow hard. I didn’t want to fuck this up. Hell, I wasn’t even sure what this was, but I didn’t want to ruin it before I had a chance to figure things out.
Chapter Fifteen
Carson
I was a poor choice to be Jude’s plus one at the class reunion luncheon. Jude could make small talk with anyone, while even before my injury, I’d gravitated toward the edges of rooms, content to let others socialize. The catered luncheon was held in a large event space at a conference center near campus. The organizers offered a taco bar buffet, like one might expect for this sort of thing, and a cash bar. A large screen behind the food tables featured pictures from Jude’s graduating veterinary class. The chance to see a younger version of Jude popping up in various photos kept me entertained while Jude chatted with a never-ending stream of people stopping by the round table where we sat.
“This must be boring for you,” Jude whispered in an apologetic tone during a lull between chatting to others.
“Not at all.” I tried and failed to keep the weariness out of my voice. It had been a long, full morning.
“Liar.” Jude leaned closer, hand flexing as if he wanted to pat me but wasn’t sure what was okay. Seeing as how I was continuing to figure that out for myself, I gestured toward the other clumps of people, some standing and others at nearby tables.
“You should mingle more.”
“I’m fine taking a break with you.” Jude made a show of leaning back in his chair, expression content.
I didn’t buy it. He was in too many of the throwback pictures on the screen, very clearly used to being in the middle of a gathering. He might take a break with me, but he’d quickly chafe at the quiet.
“You were popular.” I pointed at the screen, where a younger version of Jude was at a Halloween gathering, standing in the middle of a bunch of smiling, costumed people in their late twenties.
“I guess.” Jude’s mouth twisted. “Funny. I didn’t see it that way back then. I was still getting over being so awkward in high school.” His expression hovered somewhere between confused and considering. “Farm nerd? Is that even a thing? I think I made it a thing. Definitely wasn’t popular growing up in Lovelorn.”
“Ha.” I snorted at his entirely false perception of his past self. “You were impressive.”
Jude blinked. “You remember me as a teenager?”
“Yup.” I grinned, happy to prove him wrong. “Mr. FFA. Kids listened to you.”
“Maybe.” A deep crease appeared in the center of his forehead. “Didn’t make me popular though.”
“I joined up. Got some chickens.” I hadn’t intended to ever share the effect he’d had on me, but I couldn’t have him thinking he’d been unliked in high school. Maybe he hadn’t had a huge circle of friends, but he’d had respect.
“Because of me?” Sounding shocked, Jude widened his eyes.
“Because of you.” I smiled. His disbelief was near comical. Funny how wrong people could be when it came to seeing themselves.
“Wow. Thanks. I didn’t know.” Jude shook his head, gaze far off.
“You showed me different.” Not for the first time today, I wished my brain-to-mouth connection were working better. I wanted more words to explain to Jude precisely what he’d meant to my younger self. I’d looked at Jude and seen a path forward that didn’t involve detention. Sure, Colt had been a good role model too, but Jude had given me a clearer picture of who I wanted to become. Swallowing, I tried again to find the words. “Didn’t want to be like Kane.”
“I’m glad.” Jude met my gaze, and something warm passed between us, a fresh-baked cinnamon-roll moment, the rare treat of finding understanding and connection. His hand flexed again.
Mine did too. What harm would a quick touch do?
“Hey, Jude.” A woman around Jude’s age sidled up to our table before I could carry through with my impulse. Her nametag introduced her as Mary, and she had short blonde hair. With none of my internal dithering, Mary laid a casual hand on Jude’s shoulder. “We need a pic with the old crew.” Her gaze flitted from Jude to me. “Oops. I’m being rude. Who’s your friend?”
“Mary, this is my friend Carson.” Jude made the necessary introductions. “He works on a ranch near Lovelorn.”
“Awesome.” Mary’s shiny pink lips stretched into a welcoming smile. “How long have you been together?”
“We’re not…” Sputtering, Jude made a vague gesture. He sounded not unlike me when I had an aphasia moment. “Not like that.”