Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 81375 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81375 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
“Thank you,” I choke out. “I… it’s hard to hear, but I accept it. I’ll try to.”
Her fingers trace over my scars, straight to my lips. “If I’m honest, I’d like you to kiss me with as much kickass reckless abandon as the music you listen to. All the passion that goes into those songs. It’s inspiring, isn’t it?”
“Quite,” I murmur as I pant against her fingers. I’m not ready to do what she asked. Not yet. I need just a moment to reconcile myself with the fact that I’m finished. I’m done. I haven’t been fighting this from the start.
I want her, and I want to be hers. For tonight and tomorrow. A week. A month. A lifetime. However long I have. However long this lasts. If I have anything to do with it, I’ll fight for it to last forever, changing and growing, finding ourselves and each other, and finding a way to live the hell out of life until we’re old.
I’m already old.
So much older.
But everything I’ve done and lived makes me who I am, and that’s the man Dulcie wants, just as I want her for exactly who she is.
“We work.” I don’t realize I’ve spoken out loud until she nods.
“We work,” she repeats in a whisper. “We’ll work,” she adds, with consideration for the future. A promise and a wish. “I know we don’t have any champagne in here, but if you could kiss me like you just spat it into my mouth, that would be amazing.”
“I didn’t spit it into your mouth. I’d drunk the last sip like an imbecile, and it was the only way I could think to share,” I say vehemently.
“Whatever. It was blisteringly fucking hot. A little bit out there, but I’m into it.”
Her other hand clutches my T-shirt to brace herself when she stands on her tiptoes. Then, she guides my face down and presses her lips to mine. She’s gentle, but not unsure.
“It’s okay,” she whispers against my lips. “We’re okay, Luca. You’re safe with me.” As always, she strips me down to my soul.
She doesn’t just see past the scars or the things that happen. She sees all of it. My beauty in her eyes encompasses everything.
She opens her mouth to say something, but I claim her lips, twining my hand through her hair to tilt her head back and kiss her the way I’ve always wanted to. Her face angles back, allowing me to trace her neck before I bracket it, supporting and cradling her head in my palm as I kiss her brutally.
She moans against me, over and over, feeding me the whispered sounds. She’s liquid in my arms, melting against me, but those sounds make me weak.
The first time I ever kissed her, I burned for her. The second time, I was still bound by my fears and apprehension. I was trying to do the right thing. The respectful thing. Her parents didn’t exactly give their blessing… and maybe I’m old-fashioned like that, but at least they know. Because it’s more complicated than old-fashioned. I can’t do something they’ll never forgive when I am here to make amends, not cause further destruction.
I tear my mouth from hers to slow myself down. I sweep her hair away from her neck and kiss the elegant column. Then, I trace my way down to her throat, kissing the hollow of her throat and trapping her fluttering pulse beneath my tongue.
She’s sweet, all the scents of the day wrapped up and clinging to her hair and skin.
A day we spent together.
She’s citrus and leather seats, open air and apple blackberry pie. Laughter and tears, apprehension and absolution.
And me.
She’s so close that she smells like me, and that stirs my animalistic instincts like nothing else ever could. I want to kiss and mark every inch of her skin.
Instead, my brain goes on a rampage of self-destruction. Not for myself, but for her. I know time is just a construct, and I believe everything she’s said. I know she’s brave and knows her own mind. Just because she’s young doesn’t mean she’s not capable of knowing her heart or giving me her truth. Things change. In a year or two, she might see things differently. Fear is so limiting, and I don’t want to live in it. I can handle pain, but I don’t want to be a mistake.
“I still have surgeries I have to get through,” I murmur against her skin, drinking her in, inhaling her, and wanting her to stay with me even though I’m trying to give her the tools and reason to choose something different. “But even with all of them, I’ll never look like I did. I’ve said that before.”
“Yes.” She nuzzles my face, bringing her forehead to mine.
“You’re the kind of person who lights up everyone’s day. You value kindness, and you smile at strangers. I’ve seen you do it multiple times. You talked with the lady at the sub shop like you both were old friends, even though you told me you didn’t know her.”