Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 71679 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71679 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
“The ‘not eating puppies thing’ might.”
The look on his face can’t even begin to be decoded. “Just because you know those things doesn’t mean I’m a good man or can become one.”
“This isn’t a discussion about that. I already know you are. You aren’t convincing me otherwise, but I see you might need some adjustments to what you think about yourself. You’ve had a lifetime of hurt, and we need to do some serious healing.”
His jaw tightens, and his expression turns thunderous as the storm clouds clash in his pale blue eyes. “You don’t need to fall for someone as fucked up as I am. Don’t waste whatever you might feel on me. I fake married you for a reason. It’s supposed to stay fake. You were never supposed to have feelings for me because you’ll only get hurt.”
I see the hard determination in his eyes, and I match it every step of the way. I drag in a rough breath. I’m not giving up now, no matter how hard my heart is clenching up in my chest. “Maybe. Maybe that first part is true, but I’m calling bullshit on the second. Also, if all else fails, I’m getting you a service dog, and we are switching your work schedule around. I’ll vampire it out at night with you for a while. For as long as you need me to if you will.”
“I have no idea what that means. Apparently, I can’t be trusted around dogs.”
“I thought we just discussed that.”
“You did.”
I pointedly ignored the fact that he could argue with me all day. He can fight me if he wants. I just need him to stop fighting himself. I’m also calling bullshit on the rest, so he knows he can’t get away with it.
“Just so you know, I would have made us breakfast in strained silence if you hadn’t apologized. I would have been hurt, but I would have given us space. Since you wouldn’t have apologized because you’d shut down, I would come to find you and prove that I meant what I said. I’m not easy to chase away.”
Leon rakes a hand through his hair. It’s still wet from the shower, and his fingers make a path I’d like to trace. “I’m sorry.” The words are rough and strained, but I know he means them because the pain in his eyes says he’s sorrier that he hurt me than he can ever express. My heart gives an answering shiver.
I set the coffee pot on the counter and then closed the distance between us. I wrap my arms as far as I can reach around his shoulders, which isn’t very far because he’s so damn deliciously wide there. I stand on my tiptoes, and when our lips meet, he’s ready, not cold or defiant.
He still tastes like salt and mint, and he is breathtaking and heady. There are no more words. There is no need for words. We are perfectly, blissfully happy, dwelling in the silence. I love kissing this man. He’s all ragged edges and wounds and hurt and horror, but together, we can soothe that, though maybe not all at once. Maybe not all, ever, but some are still better than none, and I know I won’t always be the one having to make the first move, reassure, and swallow down the sting of hurt. I also won’t always be the one doing the defending, convincing, and protecting.
Leon gave himself to his father as a freaking sacrifice to save his mom and sister, so I know he knows how to be loyal, and he does know how to love.
He kisses me deeper, his hands tilting my face, one moving through my tangled hair. His sigh in my mouth is intimate and delicious, like a gift he’s giving up to me.
He tears his mouth away suddenly, his chest and shoulders heaving, but he rests his forehead against mine, his eyes closed for a long time. He lets me feel him. See him. Touch him. Underneath the hard, often brusque layer that the rest of the world sees lies the softest beating heart.
I know it’s there.
I think I just need to help him find it.
10
LEON
The sliver of the moon is hardly noticeable tonight. I like the way the darkness feels—the soft cloak of it. I don’t feel like I need it to hide tonight or like I need it to soothe me. It’s far more complicated than that.
For the first time in years, the pain in my head has subsided to a dull ache. I barely notice it’s there. For someone like me, it’s like not having any pain at all. I’m not thinking about my head. I’m thinking about Darby.
Her eyes were so soft and gentle in the kitchen this morning that I felt something draining out inside me. Drop, drop, drop. It was like I was bleeding out, but instead of dying, I felt more alive than I ever have.