Total pages in book: 197
Estimated words: 186911 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 935(@200wpm)___ 748(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 186911 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 935(@200wpm)___ 748(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
Alisdair laughed out loud, as always, unconcerned by my threats.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
Frowning, I twisted in my seat. What is that? It sounded like a heartbeat, but how could it be? How could it be Shadowsoul’s? I’d believe he’d hide his heart behind a magical wall in his castle, but he wouldn’t put it back in his rotted chest, or cart it around the throne room. Was I imagining things, or...?
I pressed the heel of my palm to my thrumming heart. Was this about my curse, and not his?
“You seek permission to divorce?” Alisdair repeated, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Must it come to that? Why not tempt your wife with a dance of seduction? Works every time.”
I hated him.
By some Meya-blessed miracle, I made it through court without killing him. The minute I was released, I took off in the opposite direction of the war room, gritting my teeth against the searing pain lancing my ankle off at the bone.
“Fox Boy? Fox Boy?” I limped through the dungeons of the east wing, knowing behind one of the doors was a siren. Who knew what other secrets these doors concealed? “Is there a little fox boy down here? Come out or call to me. I won’t hurt you. I want to get you out of here.”
I screamed up and down the dungeon, then hobbled upstairs to scream through the servants’ quarters. Yes, screamed. The growing pain in my leg wouldn’t let me do anything else, but I didn’t care. I was finding the boy and we were getting the fuck out of this place. Alisdair would never love me. The beast was incapable of love! Let him rot in this frozen wasteland, cursing the little bird who flew away.
“Fox B—”
“Lady Ana?” Aeris appeared at the end of the hallway. “What are you doing? You must be in agony! You need to return to my lord’s side at once.”
“Fuck him!”
She tutted, giving me a knowing look. “Here, let me help you.”
I was in too much pain to stop her putting my arm around her shoulder and leading me off.
“What’s happened, Lady Ana? Have you given up making our lord fall in love with you already?”
I’d have thrown her a shocked look if I was capable of doing anything but grimace in agony. “How... did you know?”
“I know everything,” she replied without irony. “What I don’t know is why you went to Eadaoin or that fool Bradach for advice before you came to me?”
“Because Eadaoin is trained in seduction and Bradach is successfully seducing you.” Pain addled my mind too much for subtlety.
Shockingly, Aeris laughed. “It does look that way, doesn’t it? Like the closed and hard-hearted Aeris is being swept along by the roguish flying man.” She laughed harder, popping my brow. “What you couldn’t have known, my queen, is that Bradach is an incorrigible bed-hopper. He’s had his way with every woman in the castle, and only set his eyes on me because I was last on the list.
“Bradach is...” Her expression softened. “Smart, sweet, brave, and funny. But I did not know any of these things until I forced him to see that none of his tricks would work on me. If he wanted sex, he could get that anywhere. But if he wants something real, he has to open up, show me the true him, be vulnerable.
“Ana.” She wiped a stray tear from my cheek. “Dances, face paints, and insincere puffery was never going to work. To love is to be vulnerable. It’s to give your soul to someone knowing you’ll never get it back, and that’s okay, because your soul will live happier entwined with theirs than it ever did alone and yearning within you.”
“But... how do I do that?” I croaked. “How do I get Alisdair to open up to me?”
“That is not for me to say, my lady, but I wonder, do you know anything about the real Alisdair Lumenfell? Where he’s from? How he began? What he likes? What he curses? What he wishes for? Do you know any of these things?” Aeris deposited me in front of the war room. “Have you even asked?”
I stared down the hallway she disappeared around long after she left.
I STUDIED ALISDAIR out of the corner of my eye. He said nothing of my late arrival when I walked into the war room. He merely dismissed Foalan, then pointed to the table next to him.
I went over and found a list of runes, their translations, and tracing paper for me to write them. I got on with the work without a word.
“What?” Alisdair asked, making me jump. “If you have a question, ask it.”
I have a great many questions, but is it truly as simple as asking them? Is that all I have to do to get you to open yourself to me?