Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 75929 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 380(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75929 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 380(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
My memory flashed back to Teresa’s words about rings and babies, and I could suddenly see that for myself so clearly. Even though I’d never given either of those a second thought before.
Maybe because I hadn’t known Soren before.
“Ugh,” I grumbled, slipping into a seat on the subway.
Because it didn’t matter how much either of us might be picturing a future.
We could never have one.
Because I could never tell him the truth about me.
I mean, even if Renzo decided to let me open up, the chances of Soren forgiving me for being lied to like that were near zero.
I spent the rest of the ride fighting off stupid, useless tears and telling myself that while I was going to go to Soren’s place for some sweaty fun, I wasn’t going to stay for the snuggling. And I damn sure wasn’t going to stay over.
I had to start putting the walls back into place again, since the rules clearly weren’t doing the heavy lifting like I’d hoped.
I was just coming up the steps at the station in Brooklyn when my phone started to ring in my pocket.
Not recognizing the number, I swiped the screen and brought it to my ear, barking out a sharp, “What?”
“Saff, it’s Cormac,” he said in my ear, seemingly unbothered by my outburst, which made me worry a bit about what kind of drunk his father might be.
“Cormac. What’s up?” I asked, wondering if he maybe needed an advance on the next day’s work. It wouldn’t be the first time. He’d called panicked from the urgent care when his youngest brother had been spiking an awful fever. And he didn’t have the cash for the visit. Bass had shown up and paid for the visit, the prescription, and some over-the-counter shit that wasn’t strictly necessary but would make the kid a lot more comfortable.
Cormac, hating the idea of handouts, insisted on doing something in exchange for it.
So Bastian had a nice clean apartment.
The kid was better.
And Cormac didn’t have to feel like he was being pitied.
“You said to call if anything suspicious was going on at the club. My brother told me that some guy was creeping around.”
“Well, there’s a whole crew of people working there on and off,” I reminded him.
“That’s what I said. But he was being a pain in the ass about it, so I came over. Yeah, the crew isn’t here today. And the guy went around the back and disappeared.”
“There’s an alley—”
“Not an idiot, Saff,” he cut me off. “I had my brother wait on the other end. He never came out that way. He just straight up disappeared. Which means—”
“He got inside,” I said, exhaling hard through my nose.
I wanted to go home and get out of my business clothes. Then I wanted to drown my complicated feelings in a pint of chocolate ice cream.
But no.
Now I had to go… shoo some unhoused guy or criminal out of my club.
Well, actually, maybe that was exactly what I needed.
Not to wallow.
To get distracted.
To lean into the woman I was, not the woman I liked getting to be around Soren.
“Alright. I’ll be there in fifteen. Don’t go in and don’t confront him if he comes out. But you can follow at a distance if you want to keep me updated.”
“Got it,” Cormac said, hanging up.
I picked up my pace as I reached up to tie my hair, then reached to check for my card knife in my wallet, since I didn’t have time to stop home for a better weapon.
When I closed in on the club, Cormac moved to meet me.
“I can hang out front in case he comes running out. And my brother will block the alley,” he said, nodding his chin toward it.
I glanced over. “He’s all of twelve.”
“He’s tough,” Cormac said, puffing up a bit.
I was sure he was, just like his big brother.
But, fuck, they were kids. They shouldn’t have to be tough.
“Here,” I said, pushing a hundred toward him. “A bonus to… get lost,” I said, making my tone dramatic, so he thought some crazy super-secret family business might be going down, so he didn’t try to stick around to play the hero. “Go blow it on junk food or toys or some shit,” I added.
Cormac gave me a nod, then walked down the alley toward his brother, slinging an arm over the little one’s shoulders as they walked off.
I hated that I could see them in five, ten years’ time running their own crew, running the streets. But that was what lives like theirs did. Hardened you. Made you morally flexible.
I would know.
Sighing, I waited to make sure they were gone before making my way toward the club, gaze flicking up toward the camera on the front door, then quietly unlocking the door and stepping inside.
It wasn’t long before I realized that I wasn’t the only one with secrets.