Total pages in book: 53
Estimated words: 50820 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 254(@200wpm)___ 203(@250wpm)___ 169(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 50820 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 254(@200wpm)___ 203(@250wpm)___ 169(@300wpm)
I just don’t know if Lucas has the gumption to plan some of this stuff. And would he invite Tic Tac to live with him, when Tic Tac is sharp enough to figure out something is off with him? No. No. Now that it’s go time, I do not know that I believe this is Lucas. And if not Lucas, who else would know the Roger lore other than another of his students? Another copycat.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Enrique is, as expected, waiting on us at the airport and as Jay and Augustin exit the hangar, and walk toward the chopper, he steps between me and the door. “What is this, Lilah? How dangerous?”
“The unknown and the obsessed are always dangerous in any situation and we have both. It’s probably nothing. It might be something.”
“Kane thinks it’s something.”
So do I, I think. “He loves me. Of course, he thinks it’s something. Let’s get this over with.”
He studies me a moment, his eyes sharp on my face. “You do, too.”
I don’t answer him. I step around him and make my way to the chopper.
Once we’re in the air, I try to find my zone. I’ve never really thought too hard about Junior and I regret that now. Out of sight is not out of mind. I need to make that my motto. It’s only then, with the chopper hypnotizing me, that it hits me where I’m meeting Junior. My mom’s house. It burned down awhile back, but that was where I was attacked. How did I read that message and not immediately see a red flag? The address didn’t even click, which is just impossible. It’s some sort of trauma reaction I don’t want to be mine. I’m still fucked in the head over my attack in ways I pretend I am not. There is no such thing as a coincidence might not be true, but in this case, it is. It’s so damn true. Maybe I blocked it out because if I knew what this was, if Kane knew, I’m not sure how this would be playing out.
The chopper lands, and I’m nauseated in a dreadful kind of way, I never feel. It must show, because the instant I’m inside the airport and Jay looks at me, he’s in front of me. “I knew there was a problem when you didn’t even talk trash in the SUV. I know you’re not okay. What can I do?”
There’s real concern in his voice, and I know what I’ve known a long time with Jay. He’s a friend. “Stay alive, Jay.” I grab his arm and squeeze. That’s all I have ever wanted you to do. Stay alive.” I turn away from him and join Enrique. “Keep Jay safe. He’s not like you.”
“I know. And I will.”
Thirty minutes later, we pull to a halt a block down from the plot of land I have yet to do anything with after the fire. Me and Kane have talked about rebuilding it, but it’s a hard decision moving forward when it’s a place I shared with my mother and a place I killed my first man, after being raped.
“I need you all to stay here,” I order.
“I’m not staying, Lilah.”
“None of us are,” Jay adds.
“Agreed,” Augustin chimes in.
Of course, I think, and I don’t have it in me to be the bitch that changes that. And I’m not sure I want to anyway. I’m not myself. I’m freaking quivering inside. “Follow from a distance. Stay at a distance.” I get out of the SUV and start jogging.
When I arrive at the location that was my mother’s getaway house, the place she went when my father gutted her, and hurt her, I find just land, the ocean crashing against the beach where I’d found myself crushed to the sand beneath my attacker. The moon is full and hovering above the water, a glowing white globe floating in the sky, while the stars twinkle and dance against the obsidian backdrop. It would be a perfect night if I were anywhere else, but here. I walk toward the water and I don’t let myself look back. My team has my back, but I can feel someone else near.
I rotate with the water at my back and I wonder if Junior will show or if this too is a game. As I stand there, my mind reaches for the past, and unbidden I’m beneath my attacker, so very drugged, so weak, so impossibly unable to help myself. I shake myself and curse allowing myself the freedom to relive this past and just then, my eyes catch in the distance. I watch as a figure in a hoodie approaches, and to my shock, the gait is distinctly female. If she’s armed, it’s tucked in her pockets with her hands. I’m not good at waiting. I start moving toward her and to my surprise she doesn’t halt until I’m a mere two feet from her.