Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 152064 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 760(@200wpm)___ 608(@250wpm)___ 507(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 152064 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 760(@200wpm)___ 608(@250wpm)___ 507(@300wpm)
He clears his throat. “We might go out after the game, which means photos will likely be taken.”
“I packed a going out dress.” I wheel my suitcase down the hall. “The media will know we’re dating after tonight.”
Parsnip rushes off, probably to hide under my bed. He hates the sound of luggage.
“They will.” I can sense Flip’s nerves, and they match my own. “Are you ready for that?”
“I am if you are,” I reply.
“I am.” He’s quiet for a moment. “I just don’t want to add more stress to your life. We can talk through a game plan when you get here.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll see you soon.”
“I can’t wait.”
CHAPTER 30
TALLY
Dad pulls me in for a lingering hug when I meet him at the restaurant. “Hey, kiddo. How was the flight?”
“It was smooth.” I wait until his hold on me loosens before I step back. There’s a weird level of guilt attached to spending time with him that I’m trying to parse through. “How was practice this morning?”
Flip messaged that my dad was in a good mood, which took a little of the anxiety out of meeting him for lunch.
“It was great. The boys look good going into tonight’s game.” He holds me at arm’s length for a few more seconds. “Thanks for making time for me.”
“I’m glad nothing came up for either of us.”
He completely misses the barb. “Me, too.”
Flying out to see my boyfriend and not spending time with my dad would put Flip in an awkward position, so here I am.
Dad is all smiles as we check in with the host. We order drinks, then head up to the buffet to fill our plates.
“How are you?” I ask once we’re seated across from each other. He looks like he’s lost weight, and like he’s not sleeping well either.
“Okay. Staying busy, which I guess isn’t new.” He spears a bite of ginger chicken. “How are you?”
“Okay.”
“How’s school? I feel like I don’t know what’s going on in your life.”
“You know the highlights. It’s my last semester. I’m working hard, and I’m dating someone.” All this surface talk is frustrating.
“Madden is serious about you.”
“He flew me out here because he misses me, so yeah, I think we’re pretty serious about each other.”
“Are you being safe?”
“Seriously, Dad. I’m responsible, and so is he. And whether we’re being safe shouldn’t actually be the thing you’re most concerned about. Shouldn't you want to know how he treats me? If he listens? Does he put me first?”
“Does he…put you first?” Dad asks softly.
“He makes time for me before he leaves for an away series. He flew home early from the last one to take me for breakfast with Cammie and Chase, and spent the day with me. I’m here now.” My anger bubbles over. “Maybe you could learn something from him.”
He sighs. “That’s not fair, Tally.”
“Why isn’t it fair? You’ve been dedicated to the Terror my entire life. You’ve seen them through multiple Cup wins. You can do anything you set your mind to, but you can’t put the time and energy into being a good partner for Mom? Why don’t you want that with her? Why don’t you want that with your family?”
He rubs his bottom lip. “Your mom deserves more than I can give her.”
“Did you even try? Did you even want to?” I shake my head, frustrated with him and myself and fucking life. “If you really wanted to make it work, you would have found a way.”
He nods once. “If this were a decade ago, you would be right. But I have broken this relationship beyond repair, Tally. I didn’t strive for balance, and I didn’t put the time and energy into loving your mom the way I should have.”
“Why can’t you do it now? Why is it impossible to fix?”
“Your mom is tired, Tally. It’s years of me not being there enough, of her being the sole source of emotional support for you and Ties and Fenna. Nothing I do now will take away the harm I’ve already caused. Your mom deserves to be happy, and someone else should have that chance with her. She made her choice and I want to respect that. I don’t want to hurt her anymore, and trying to keep her tied to me would do that.”
I brush away a tear, sad all over that this is where our family is. I don’t want to end up like my parents. What if I give my heart to Flip and he stops taking care of it? How broken would I be?
“I’m sorry, Tally. I know that’s not what you want to hear, and it isn’t what I want to tell you.”
I tip my chin up, fighting to keep more tears from falling. “I’d rather have the ugly truth than a pretty lie.”
I’m grateful for Dred, Hemi, and Rix, who have organized mani-pedis after lunch. It’s a helpful distraction and keeps me out of the panic spiral. Especially since I won’t get to see Flip until after the game this evening.