Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 152064 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 760(@200wpm)___ 608(@250wpm)___ 507(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 152064 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 760(@200wpm)___ 608(@250wpm)___ 507(@300wpm)
When I arrive at Grace Manor, Cedrick, one of the full-time staff, answers the door and ushers me inside. “Dred is already on her way down,” he informs me.
Hearing Mildred’s nickname coming out of this posh man’s mouth always makes me smile. “Thanks, Ceddy.”
Dred steps out of the elevator—yes, the house is that fancy—takes one look at me and arches a brow. “What happened?”
“I’ll have refreshments brought to you.” Cedrick bows and disappears down the hall.
“I kissed Tally, and I don’t want to take it back.”
“Like, kiss-kiss? For real? With tongue?”
“Yes.”
“How was that?”
“Everything I wanted it to be and more.” Leaving was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I wanted to kiss her until the world turned to ash around us.
“And for her?”
“I think the same?”
She inclines her head to the elevator. “Want to come up to the library, and we can talk it through?”
“Sounds good.” I follow her into the elevator. We reach the second floor a few moments later and walk down the hall to the library. “Where’s the rest of the family?”
“Connor’s in the kitchen with the twins making cookies.”
“He’s a real sap for those two, isn’t he?”
“Oh yeah. He’s head over heels. It’s beautiful to watch.”
“He’s having the best season of his career.” Maybe that could be me. Maybe I could have an amazing season and the woman I never dared to want.
“Being settled and feeling like part of his team has definitely changed his game,” she agrees.
Cedrick enters with tea and an assortment of other beverages, which he spreads out on the coffee table, along with a snack tray. Of course there’s Tang.
Dred pours me a glass. “Want to lay it all out for me?”
I rewind to New Year’s Eve and the almost kiss in the closet, vowing to stay away from her, driving her home tonight, being unable to walk away, taking her out for dinner and ending the night with that kiss that’s been playing on repeat since I left her. I run my hands through my hair, panic hitting hard now. “What the fuck am I going to do, Dred?”
She settles back in her chair and sips her Tang. “What do you want to do?”
I rub my bottom lip. “I shouldn’t want to date her.”
“But you do want to date her,” Dred affirms.
“It’s a really bad fucking idea. Like literally the worst idea in the whole damn world. Vander Zee will bury me in an unmarked grave if he finds out about this.”
“He may want to, but it’s unlikely that he’ll actually follow through,” Dred says, unhelpfully.
“I need advice! I’m kind of freaking out here!” I snap.
She raises an eyebrow.
I sigh. “Please help me help myself.”
“Let’s take Vander Zee out of the equation. If he was a nonissue, what would be holding you back?”
“Beyond the age gap and her still being in university?”
“She’ll be done in a handful of months.”
I poke at my cheek with my tongue. “I have a past.”
“Are you referring to the one everyone knows about, or the one only I and your ex know about?” Dred presses.
“Both.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “It’s all going to come back to bite me in the ass if I start dating Tally.”
She sets her glass down and shifts to face me. “You have spent the last few years doing a lot of personal work, and yeah, if you start dating the coach’s daughter, your previous fuckboy ways will likely be mentioned, but that’s not who you are now, and you don’t have to let your past dictate your present. I think the thing that you’ll need to deal with is the one you’ve been avoiding for the last decade.”
I let my head fall back. My ex is the reason I haven’t had a relationship since I was Tally’s age. “I just want to leave Fiona in the fucking past with all my other bad choices.”
“I get it, Flip. I really do. She did a number on you, but you never really buried that relationship. It’s just a secret you’ve dragged along with you.”
“Why is hindsight always twenty-twenty?”
“Because perspective is everything.”
“How do I tell Tally I’ve been married before when I never even told my family?” We’d been high school sweethearts. She came back into my life at a time where I craved stability and I thought I would have it with her. We were married in secret, afraid our parents wouldn’t allow it. I understood why after; she only wanted the life I could provide her. It was an expensive, horrifying lesson that left scars. A secret I wanted to keep buried. “What if we start dating, and I tell Tally, and she can’t handle it?”
“What if she can?” Dred asks simply.
“There’s so much at risk.”
“There’s always a risk. The bigger question is, can you live without taking it?”