If This is Love Read Online Jewel E. Ann

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Angst, Contemporary, Forbidden Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 97369 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
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Fuck my life.

Something has to change. Something drastic. Something that helps me escape this hell, this feeling of unrequited love and childish infatuation. This feeling of being owned and imprisoned in this life as the token child of Fletcher Ellington and kid sister to his right-hand man is torture.

“Say something, Indie.”

I shake my head slowly. “Uh … be careful. There could be a few pieces of shell in the pie. I’m not as good as Ruthie was at making them. So … be careful.” I pivot and putter toward the house, feeling unwelcome and out of place everywhere I go.

“Indie …”

I ignore Milo, and he doesn’t chase me anymore.

I do the most grown-up thing I can imagine to escape these feelings.

I have sex for the first time, the second time, and many more. The destructive power of loneliness should never be underestimated.

Sex with Camden.

Sex with Aiden.

Sex with Sam.

Sex with a new guy each week, and twice on my birthday, until school starts. Does it make me feel better? Not really. Does it make me feel less pathetic when I occasionally run into Milo? Marginally.

I’ll take marginally.

No mother.

No father.

No Ruthie.

No Milo.

And fuck Fletcher. Whoever the hell he is in my life right now.

Sex fills a void. Then the void returns. I need to make it through this year and get out of here. Freedom. I desperately need to feel free.

“I’m going to be gone for a few days. I’ll be back by Thanksgiving. Micah left meals in the fridge, and Milo’s in charge,” Fletcher says as he pokes his head in my bedroom, bringing a nice breeze of stale cigar smoke. “Behave.”

I knew I shouldn’t have come home for fall break. My nose wrinkles and I slide my bookmark between the pages. “Um … what about Benton?”

Benton is my new boyfriend. I think. After chatting for weeks, we had sex two days ago when I arrived home for break. So I’m calling it a relationship since I’m open to having sex with him again, and I feel a slight inclination toward monogamy.

“Who’s Benton?” Fletcher asks, eyes on his phone instead of me.

“He’s my boyfriend. I’m going to see him.”

“Not while I’m gone.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not in the mood for your questions. Just do as I say.” He starts to close my door.

“I’m having him over. Milo can watch all he wants, but I’m having him over.” I bite my tongue from reminding him that I’m eighteen now. I don’t need him lording my car, phone, or Fletcher-funded bank account over me.

“Indiana, you’re asking to lose your car.” He adjusts his big-ass belt buckle.

Here we go …

“And you’re being unfair.”

“If I find out he’s been here while I’m gone, Milo will be in trouble, and you will be without a car for good.” Fletcher closes my door as if his word is the final one.

Does that mean Milo won’t marry Jolene?

Grabbing a pink decor pillow from my bed, I bury my face and scream. I hate Fletcher. I hate him so much.

Later that night, Benton arrives just after I clean up my small mess from dinner. Milo’s in the barn. And Fletcher is … who the fuck cares. Miles, maybe even states away from here.

“Fletcher’s gone for five fucking fabulous days.” I leap into Benton’s arms as soon as I open the front door.

“Mmm …” He buries his face into my neck and grabs my ass with both hands. He’s smells like soap and hair gel, not leather, coffee, and cinnamon. I try to convince myself that I prefer soap and hair gel.

“It’s weird that you call him Fletcher when he’s your dad. But who cares as long as he’s gone. Take off your clothes.”

I giggle, opting not to explain my complicated relationship with Fletcher to Benton. “We should go to the bedroom.”

“Why?” He gathers my skirt with one hand, exposing my panties, while his other hand slides up my blouse, where he discovers I’m not wearing a bra.

We make it to the stairs in a flurry of kisses and impatient hands before he pulls my top over my head, wetting his lips at my breasts. “Sit down.”

My teeth trap my lower lip while I sit on the step with my hands on either side.

Benton kneels on the bottom stair, eyeing me confidently while he peels off my thong, bringing it to his nose and taking a long inhale. Not much embarrasses me, but this kinda does.

The door opens with a sharp creak, and I shoot my gaze to it.

“I’ll give you ten seconds to get out before I make a dent in the hood of your fucking car with your head.”

My arms wrap around my bare chest while I snap my knees together, feeling the cool evening breeze from the open door. I need another hand to pull my skirt back over my waist. “Get out, Milo,” I shriek, heat accumulating in my cheeks.


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