Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 71314 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 357(@200wpm)___ 285(@250wpm)___ 238(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71314 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 357(@200wpm)___ 285(@250wpm)___ 238(@300wpm)
He follows me into the book-lined room, his hands on my hips from behind as he pulls me back against him. He’s aroused. I can feel the thick ridge of it between my cheeks. It almost distracts me from my existential crisis. Almost.
“I shot someone,” I say, turning toward him. “I’m a murderer.”
I know I already told him this, but it’s not the sort of thing you mention once and never go back to again.
“Eh. He had it coming.” Gray shrugs it off like it doesn’t matter, and I guess it doesn’t. It was a matter of him or me and of course I chose me. There was nobody else to choose.
“But…” I bite my lower lip. “I’ve never done that before, and it feels like it’s changed something inside me.”
I don’t know how to explain it entirely, but I hope those words are enough. Sometimes, having to blather endlessly about my feelings makes me wish I didn’t have any. It’s painful. This would be worse than most of them, because it’s so dark and so terrible.
Gray’s expression shifts to one of pity. I hate that. He thinks I’m weak. Shooting someone should at least mean people think you are strong.
“I know,” he says. “I’m sorry. I should have been there to kill him for you. And I should never have left your side. I thought I could lure Karl away, but I think it was part of his plan to begin with. They didn’t think I’d done my job with you, and yes, they wanted you dead. I’ve convinced him otherwise now, I think. But…” He gives a slight shrug, as if he can’t know and as if he’s not even going to attempt to guess.
What fun.
I guess danger is going to be ever present now. We’re going to be fugitives to the creatures we wanted to find so badly. Well, I wanted to find them. Molly and Mark just wanted to fuck in the woods with an asshole called Brent who is dead now. I wonder how many hundreds if not thousands of people have lost their lives over the years because wolves decided they’ve seen too much and took them out remorselessly.
“I want to make a difference,” I say. “I want to make sure that people who don’t deserve to die, don’t die. So you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to hire bodyguards and I’m going to have them guard this house, and I’m going to get the two of them everything they want because…”
“Saving random people won’t bring your parents back.”
I can’t believe Gray just said that. He has a serious expression on his face, as if he said something that makes sense to him. Apparently he didn’t stop to think how it would feel to hear it.
Smack.
I slap him right in the face. Open palm slap. He doesn’t even pretend to jerk away. His face pinkens just slightly. He looks at me with something like mercy, or maybe it’s indulgence. I don’t know. My temper got the better of me.
“Sorry,” he says. “I deserved that. Psychoanalysis is very rarely appreciated in the moment.”
“I know they’re not my parents. They’re two people I can help. And I’m planning on helping them. Nothing you do or say is going to stop me, even shitty below the belt comments on my parents. You fucking…” I stop myself from going off on him completely, but he would deserve it if I did. That was a low blow, and it reduced all my inner goodness to the reactive desire of some little girl missing her parents to save some make-believe version of them.
Gray drops the matter immediately. I don’t know if he really understands how wrong he was, but he definitely understands he doesn’t want the fight with me.
“Alright, then put the bodyguards on them, and make it clear to the New York pack that trying to come after them will be difficult. Nobody wants a scene. The more public you can make the attempt to hurt them, the better.”
“Thanks,” I say. “So nice of you to give me permission to do what I was going to do anyway.”
Gray lets out a little low growl. “I know you’ve been through a lot recently, and a lot more before that, and I’ll give you that slap because I should have known better than to say what I did—but you need to start watching your tone, young lady, or I am going to give you a lesson in respect.”
I laugh in his face. “I shot someone today. You think I care about any of this, any of your feelings or thoughts about how I should behave? There’s no should anymore, Gray. There’s just whatever I want to do, whenever I want to do it.”
My comments feel very bold and very satisfying, but the next thing I see is the carpet, because he has sat down and thrown me over his knee. I balance on my fingertips out in front of me as he snugs one arm around my waist, then sets about spanking me hard and fast, like he has the right to discipline me like a spoiled little girl.