Total pages in book: 57
Estimated words: 52440 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 262(@200wpm)___ 210(@250wpm)___ 175(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 52440 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 262(@200wpm)___ 210(@250wpm)___ 175(@300wpm)
"Yeah, you should have," I whisper back. "I've only been waiting forever."
He kisses me again before pulling back to rest his forehead against mine, breathing hard. "I should have done it, butterfly," he says. "When we were fourteen at the movies and you slipped your hand into mine the first time, that's when I should have kissed you."
"Why didn't you?"
"Uh, your dad is fucking terrifying."
"He's harmless."
"Says you," he mutters, making me giggle. "He loves you. He's going to hate me."
"He isn't going to hate you. He'll be happy for us. He's kind of been rooting for you all along, you know."
Teo has been trying to make my dad proud his entire freaking life. He looks up to him and respects him. I think he wants to prove to him that he's good enough for me. He always tries so hard. My dad loves him like a son, but Teo swears he hates him.
"Really? Well, shit." He rakes a hand through his hair, blowing out a breath. "Now he's really going to hate me."
"He isn't going to hate you!"
"Yeah, he is." He expels a heavy breath. "I need to tell you something."
"You're making me nervous," I whisper, anxiety coursing through me.
He hesitates for a long moment, clearly anxious. And then he shoves a hand through his hair again. "Fuck," he mutters. "Don't be mad at me for not telling you, but I got offered a chance to play football at UT."
"What?" I cry, my eyes wide. "Are you serious? When?"
"A couple of weeks ago."
"Holy shit, Teo. That's huge!" I fling my arms around him, squeezing hard. He doesn't need a scholarship because his family has money to pay for his education, and he doesn't feel right about taking a scholarship from someone who needs it just to get into college. So for him to play at the college level means being a walk-on player. It's not easy to earn those spots. He went to the last open tryout, but he never heard back. He assumed it meant he didn't get a spot. "Are you going to say yes?"
"I already did, butterfly." He pulls back, glancing down at me. His blue eyes are clouded with worry…not the look of a guy who just got his dream.
My heart clenches.
"What's wrong?" I whisper, dread coursing through me.
He cups my cheek, resting his forehead against mine. "Don't be mad."
I know him better than I know myself. Anytime he tells me not to be mad, it's because he knows I'm going to be mad. It's his way of preparing me for whatever he's going to unleash on me.
"Tell me," I say. "Right now."
"The position is for the upcoming season," he whispers, swallowing hard.
"No."
"I'll be graduating this year, butterfly."
"No," I say again, shaking my head as tears spring to my eyes. "No, Teo. You promised. Together, remember?" That was always the plan. He'd play football while I studied music. One day, he'd play professionally, and I'd sing or write. I never really cared which, so long as I had him and music.
"Butterfly, listen to me."
"You…you kissed me!" I cry, pulling out of his arms. "Why would you do that if you're just leaving me?"
"Baby, I'm not leaving you."
"Yes, you are! You're going to college without me." A tear slips down my cheek. "I stayed behind for you, and you're going without me."
"I'm going for you, Nadia," he says, reaching for me.
But I don't want him to touch me. If he does, I'll cry. I'll break. I already feel like I'm breaking. He kissed me, told me he loved me…and why? For what? Just so he could break my heart?
I already turned down my chance to go to college next year. I didn't even have to think about it. Since he couldn't get onto a team, I gave up my chance to graduate early and took a music class I wanted instead of the final science class I needed. Leaving him behind wasn't even an option when the dream was always the two of us together.
I guess I wasn't a consideration in his future like he's always been in mine because it was so easy for him to make a different decision. He took the science class. He has all the necessary credits. There's nothing keeping him here. Apparently, not even me.
I was willing to wait for him.
Why couldn't he wait one year for me, too?
Maybe that's the point. Maybe he didn't want to wait because it was never college with me that he dreamed about the way I did. It was playing football in college. And now…he's got his dream. He doesn't need to wait for me. I thought our dream was the same, but I guess I was wrong about that.
"You'll be there for an entire year without me, Teo. That isn't for me. It's for you," I whisper, my heart in tiny pieces at my feet. "If you didn't want to go to college with me, you could have told me before I decided to stay behind."