Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 98643 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 493(@200wpm)___ 395(@250wpm)___ 329(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98643 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 493(@200wpm)___ 395(@250wpm)___ 329(@300wpm)
There was only one way to find out. Once inside the house, I headed toward the stairs that led to the second floor. “Jules!” I shouted. I took the steps two by two and came face to face with Curtis at the top.
“He’s not here, son,” Curtis said softly. “You can check his room. You can check all of them, but I promise you he’s not here. Xavier’s mom and sister are staying in the two rooms at the end of the hallway. I’d ask that you show them the respect they deserve by not barging in their rooms or screamin’ your head off. Those two have been through enough.”
As hard as it was to accept, I knew Curtis was right. I gave him a quick nod. I didn’t need to search the whole house. I would have my answer the second I opened the door to Jules’s room. Curtis stepped aside. My hand was shaking by the time I reached Jules’s door.
Please be locked.
Please be locked.
I kept repeating the mantra because it was all I had left. If the door was locked, then it meant Jules was inside. I could deal with his anger because of anything I might have said or done to upset him. It didn’t matter how long it took to fix it, but he needed to be in that room.
I blinked away tears when the doorknob easily turned. Even though I already knew what it meant, I stepped into the room anyway. The bed was still a tangle of blankets, sheets, and pillows, proof that our lovemaking the night before had indeed happened. It was the only proof that we’d both been in that room up until I’d left in the early morning hours before the sun was even up.
All of Jules’s clothes were gone. His bathroom vanity was stripped bare. No makeup, no perfume. Except for the bed, it was as if no one had been in the room for a very long time.
Every emotion, every inkling of logic I tried to come up with, every painful memory of what it’d felt like to wake up in a hospital with no one there to give a damn began building on each other deep inside of me. Part of me wanted to release the fury on the room. I wanted to break every piece of furniture in it. I wanted to smash the mirror where I’d first seen Jules applying his makeup. I wanted to tear all the empty hangers from the closet and rip every empty drawer from the dresser until all that was left was enough wood to act as kindling for a fire.
Thankfully, my coping mechanism, the one that’d always been there to save me, the very one I’d never thought I’d have to tap into again, took over. Ice replaced the hot sensation of betrayal running through my veins. That ball in my gut began to fray until it was nothing more than a pile of meaningless fibers. I turned on my heel, passed Curtis who was still at the top of the stairs, and left the house. My steps were no longer hurried, my throat wasn’t closed off with emotion, and tears no longer stung the backs of my eyes. I couldn’t say being numb felt good because I didn’t feel anything.
I left the house without a word to Brooks. As I passed Xavier on my way to the barn, he said, “He left you a note.”
“Keep it,” I responded. There were no words on any piece of paper that would explain why Jules had done this to me or how I’d gotten everything so wrong. “Can you do me a favor and find her a new home,” I added as I jerked my head in the mare’s direction.
“Flynn—” Xavier began, but if he said anything, I didn’t hear it.
I should have felt measurably better when I reached BJ’s stall, but for the first time ever, the horse’s presence didn’t make me smile. I grabbed his saddle and bridle from the rack outside his stall and got the big animal tacked up in a matter of minutes.
As soon as I led BJ from the stall, I climbed into the saddle. It was a known rule of thumb to never mount a horse inside a barn, but I didn’t give a shit.
I didn’t give a shit about a lot of things.
I rode past Xavier, once again ignoring his attempts to talk to me. “I quit,” I said simply and then pointed BJ toward the end of the driveway.
Once that was done, I stopped giving a shit about one last thing.
Where we were headed.
Because it didn’t matter. I no longer had any commitments; I had enough money in the bank so I could just ride until I reached one ocean and then I could turn around and keep going until I hit another ocean.