Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 76717 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76717 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
“I love you too,” I whisper back, the words slipping out easily along with the whirlwind of emotions raging within me. “I love you, Jason.”
With one final thrust, he releases, hitting my pubic bone and clitoris with just the right force.
As I join him in climax, the high overwhelms me. I soar to the stars, racing, racing, racing, my whole body in spasms that rock my world to the hilt.
He breathes hard against me, his eyes closed, sweat beading on his brow.
I’m in love.
So in love.
But as the orgasm slowly subsides, it hits me.
Jason didn’t use a condom.
And I’m not on the pill.
Chapter Six
Jason
My heart pounds loudly in my ears. Angie is beneath me, her soft flesh a comfort. My eyes are still closed, and for a moment, I lose myself in the soothing warmth and throbbing connection between us.
Until she shudders.
I pull back slightly and open my eyes. Her own eyes are wide, her lips slightly parted as she stares at me.
“Jason,” she says, her voice barely a whisper. “We didn’t use a condom.”
For a moment, her words don’t register. But when they do, they land with the impact of a freight train. What was I thinking? The last thing I need right now is an unplanned pregnancy with my goddamned student.
Surely she’s on the pill, right? All young women are.
“I’m disease free,” I tell her. “I haven’t been with anyone in three years.”
“That’s not the issue,” she says.
“Fuck…”
“Yeah. I guess I should have told you.”
“Then why didn’t you?” I demand, more harshly than I mean to. The world around us seems to spin as reality sets in.
“I didn’t think…” Her eyes fill with tears.
Fuck. I can take anything but tears. I’ve had my fill of women’s tears.
I pull out of her, roll onto my back, and stare at the ceiling. How could I have been so careless? I’m a doctor, for God’s sake.
She shifts next to me on the bed, pulling the sheets up to cover her naked body. I reach out and pull her into me, wrapping my arms tightly around her.
“It’s okay, Angie,” I whisper into her ear, my own fear seeping into my voice. “No need to worry until we have to.”
“It’s probably okay,” she says. “I’m expecting my period in a couple of days.”
“Good!” I say a little too enthusiastically. “Then you’re probably not fertile.”
“Right,” she says.
Even though neither of us needs an additional thing to worry about, the thought kind of disappoints me.
When I lost Julia, I didn’t think I ever wanted another child. I mean, why put myself through that risk again? To love something that much and then lose it… It’s just too hard.
But the thought of Angie carrying my child…
A strange warmth fills me at the prospect. An unwelcome yet unavoidable yearning. A little boy with dark hair and eyes, or a little girl—
I push the thoughts away. Little girls only remind me of Julia.
Besides, I’m a mess, and I’m in no condition to be a father.
And the truth of it is that I’m a man caught between the past and the present, my heart divided between two women.
One living, and one dead.
I wasn’t lying in the throes of passion.
I do love Angie.
I think I’ve loved her since that first kiss.
But Lindsay…
Perhaps we didn’t have the raw passion that Angie and I share, but we had something deep and amazing, and I would have been happy with her for a lifetime.
And now that I know she may not have killed herself…
God, I can’t.
Can’t go there with Angie.
Not yet.
She’s young and vibrant, her life just beginning, her future bright. Do I really want to drag her into this mess?
I’ve already asked her to go to Switzerland with me, and now it seems that won’t happen. I can’t leave town with this mystery about Lindsay hanging over my head.
And if I want the surgery here…it means therapy.
Angie stirs in my arms and lifts her head from my shoulder to meet my gaze.
“Whatever happens, we’ll handle it,” she whispers. “We can handle it together.”
I nod and pull her closer into me. The heat of her body seeps into mine, providing some comfort against the chill from my thoughts.
Part of me is terrified at the thought of becoming a father again, while another part is strangely drawn to the idea. I can’t help but think of all the things I missed out on with Julia—first day of school, first date, first dance—and the thought of experiencing those moments with Angie’s child fills me with both joy and sadness.
“I do love you, Jason,” she says.
I kiss the top of her head. “I love you too.”
But as I learned the hard way…
Love isn’t always enough.
Chapter Seven
Angie
Do I bring up Switzerland? Is that even still on?
This morning, I was running to Jason’s office to tell him that yes, I’d go with him to Switzerland. That I’d pack up my life and move it overseas to be with him, to help him through his surgery.