Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 84247 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84247 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Callum
“It’s going to look good out here when we’re all done,” I said to Mom as we worked on tearing out some of the old brush in the backyard. It was her day off, and she’d told me last night she’d planned on being out there. She had a garage full of supplies and had been taking on one project at a time. I was making a point of trying to spend more time with her. It was one of the reasons I was there, after all, and I hadn’t been doing the best job of it.
“It will. I like that I can do whatever I want, ya know? And everything I’m physically able to do by myself, or with your help if you want, I’m going to do. There will be some projects I have to hire out for, but I just…”
“Want to stand on your own,” I finished.
“Yeah.” Mom looked at me and smiled.
“I get that. I felt the same in college. After I went through that depressive stage, I just…”
“Wanted to stand on your own,” she supplied the same as I’d done for her.
“Exactly.”
“I…” Mom paused, closed her eyes, and shook her head. “I’ll never forgive myself for how I reacted when I found out.”
It was something I would never forget, something that still hurt, if I was being honest, but I also knew I couldn’t dwell on it forever. “I know, and it’s over. You’re here now, and you’ve been for a long time. That’s what matters.”
“No, it’s not. Not fully, at least. You’re my son. I…”
“Hey, don’t. We’ve dealt with this already.” Mostly. I reached out and wiped the tear rolling down her face. “Oops. I have dirt on my hand, and now all I did was make you messy.” I was hoping to lighten the mood, that she would chuckle and we could stop talking about things we couldn’t change.
“I should have known earlier.”
“How could you have?” I asked. “I faked it well. I knew most of my life, Mom, and I hid it with jokes and smiles and fake girl crushes. You didn’t know because I didn’t want anyone to know.”
“I still should have known.”
I frowned, something in her tone setting off some kind of alarm inside me. “Why?”
Mom opened her mouth, closed it, then said, “Because you’re my son, of course.”
“Well, moms aren’t perfect, because if they were, that would mean sons have to be perfect, and I’m definitely not that.”
Mom grinned. “I think you’re pretty perfect.”
“You have to say that. You’re my mom.” As soon as I finished speaking, I chuckled.
“What?”
“It’s just funny. Logan says that to Knox all the time—that Knox has to think whatever it is he said because he’s Logan’s dad.” I turned, tugged my gloves back on, and began pulling brush and putting it into the wheelbarrow. “First, building a fence, and now this. Havenwood is going to work me to the bone.”
Mom came over and got busy as well. “You and Knox spend a lot of time together.”
We did, and I liked it, was liking it more and more. “He’s a good guy, and Logan is great. I think Knox mostly hangs out with me because Logan took to me so quickly.” Though that didn’t really feel true. I told myself that to try and help keep the emotional distance I needed to build between us, but I didn’t believe it for a second.
It had been two weeks since the art class when he called me out of the blue, when we’d talked for hours and watched a fucking movie on the phone together, for Christ’s sake. That was shit you did in high school.
Since then, I was at his place about four times a week, and we texted often throughout the day and night. We’d also ended up chatting on the phone a few more evenings too. Those were all things that didn’t include Logan, though we had yet to hang out without him.
“No,” Mom said, “that’s not true. Knox wouldn’t do that. Both Knox and Logan just realize how great you are.”
“You have to say that; you’re my mom,” I teased again, rubbing a hand over the scar on my chest, then bent down to lift some of the broken twigs, plants, and weeds from the ground. It was easier to talk about this stuff if I wasn’t looking at her. “I like being with them. It’s kind of weird. I feel like…I don’t know, like I slipped into place, if that makes sense. Like I fit. Which is dumb.” Especially now with Logan having met Dale, who apparently had a single mom. She and Knox had spoken a few times, and I had this vision in my head of them dating, which he had every right to do, and me not fitting in with them anymore.