Exposing the Groom Read Online Rachel Van Dyken

Categories Genre: Chick Lit, Contemporary, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 66259 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 331(@200wpm)___ 265(@250wpm)___ 221(@300wpm)
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“There’s a lot.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “I hate things being stuck in me!”

Killian bursts out laughing. “I hope not all things.”

“Oh, ha-ha very funny, manwhore.”

“Don’t knock me until you try me.”

I freeze and open one eye. “I don’t know if I could handle you.”

“Funny, I was thinking the same thing about you,” he whispers. “All done.” His eyes flash before he leans down and blows on my palms.

I think part of me is dying inside, at least that’s what I’m feeling as the cool air tickles my skin.

His lips are perfect.

He looks up. “What?”

I shake my head, unable to form words.

“Nope, you just had the most curious look on your face I’ve ever seen.”

My face is hot. I’m blushing. I have to be blushing. “I uh, just was remembering something.”

“Your name?”

I roll my eyes. “No, the way you taste.”

He freezes, then slides his hands up my arms. “Did you want me to remind you?”

Slowly, I nod my head. “Might be a mistake though, crossing some lines, jumping over barriers.”

He grips the sides of my head. “Fuck barriers.”

Our mouths are colliding before I have time to think, his tongue is soft against my lower lip before sliding into my mouth and I swear I taste him everywhere.

I cling to him like my life depends on it.

His hands dive into my hair while pulling me closer and closer until our bodies are slammed together the way our mouths are. He’s delicious, soft and hard at the same time.

It’s like he went to a special rockstar school where they taught every hot musician how to properly kiss and hold a person with just the right amount of pressure. Damn.

He breaks away first, his eyes lost in mine. “Remember?”

I start to shake my head, no. His eyes crinkle at the sides as he smiles and leans down again only to of course be interrupted by shouting.

“RUN!” Dustin’s voice sounds. “It escaped THRICE!”

“Is thrice even a word?” Killian asks out loud, still not letting go of me. “Because it kind of rhymes with mice and wait why is he running toward us?”

“GO!” Dustin screams. “It’s out!”

He’s not wearing a shirt.

He has no shoes on and there are goat heads, not to mention whatever sharp rocks he can trip on. “Huh,” I wonder. “He’s really freaked out.”

Dustin keeps running, sure enough right behind him is what looks like a large tom cat with what I’m assuming is Dustin’s shirt over its head.

“Should you tell him or should I?” Killian asks.

I cross my arms. “Honestly, I think I’m enjoying this moment the most, maybe we just wait for him to catch his breath?”

Killian nods. “He’s gonna tucker out, eventually. Oh, look! He zigzagged.” He starts clapping, then calls out. “Good job, little buddy!”

Dustin runs behind us and pants. “Get it, get it!”

“Hey, there.” Killian leans down and grabs the shirt off the cat. “Did that big dummy scare you?”

“Oh, I’m sorry I was busy getting chased by a large feline! TWICE! THRICE!” He starts to whimper.

“Bro, you were chased earlier for like two minutes, and this isn’t even a cougar. It’s a stray cat. You have cat issues, I’m concerned.” Killian pats him on the head.

“No!” Dustin jerks away. “Did you know cougars can travel up to fifty miles an hour? Sometimes are accused of eating their young? THEIR OWN OFFSPRING, just like mountain lions, which fun fact—”

“Someone needs to take away your ability to search random facts on the internet,” I chime in. “Because, wow.”

“Oh, please.” Killian jumps right into the conversation. “You literally Googled if you were going to die because you saw one Oprah episode where someone was cutting celery and ended up needing her arm amputated. You still can’t cut with real knives!”

“Shots fired,” Dustin says under his breath.

“I told you that in secrecy because we were sharing, and I was having a rough moment when you rescued me from the cheating bastard screwing my sister!”

“But does he do it well? Does he”—Killian smirks—“stick it well?”

“Why did I even kiss you again?” I wonder out loud.

Dustin stills. “You guys kissed?”

“She nearly drowned,” Killian says helpfully.

“There were goat heads,” I add. “It was romantic.”

“Errr, yeah.” Dustin looks between us. “That sounds, super romantic, from near death to pain to this, yup, should probably light a candle, sing some Celine Dion.”

“Hey!” we both yell in unison.

“She’s a national treasure!” Killian adds.

I offer up a high five.

“Hmm, more terrifying…” Dustin stares at one hand. “Cougars, or you guys arguing, then getting along because of Celine Dion. Decisions, decisions.”

“Hey!” I look around. “Where’s Adrian?”

Dustin pales and looks down at the ground then at his hands, why the hell are they shaking. “So, he um, discovered Gertrude.”

“Good for him.” Killian offers up his hand for a high five.

Dustin does not hit it. “Yeah, man I don’t think he’s going to look at it that way. She was so wasted when he found her under the table that she just dragged him beneath it.” His voice lowers to a whisper, “She’s so strong.”


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