Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 105748 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 529(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105748 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 529(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
It wasn’t just that the sex between us was off-the-charts phenomenal. It was that even when we were at odds with each other, there was this easiness. This belonging that I had never felt with anyone else.
“I won’t take it to mean anything,” I promised her as I pulled her back into my arms. “But stay.”
“It’s a waste of a hotel room.”
“I’ll pay.”
“No, you will not.” She huffed but relaxed into my arms, settling her head on my shoulder and her hands on my chest.
Her bare breast pressed against me, and between that and the musk of sex in the air, my dick twitched. Apparently, Taran Macbeth made my dick think it was nineteen again.
I smirked but didn’t move to do anything about it.
I was enjoying the warm weight of her against my body.
“You’re sure this wasn’t a mistake?” she asked quietly.
No.
It could never be.
I hadn’t lied to her when I told her I wouldn’t hold sex against her.
However, that didn’t mean I wasn’t planning on using it to break down the barriers between us.
While I had her here, I intended to make use of the time. “It’s not a mistake.” My fingers trailed down her bare arm. Her skin was so soft. Everything about Taran was soft. When she wasn’t mad at me, that is.
Hoping like fuck what I was about to do didn’t scare her off, I opened my mouth to speak and had to exhale first.
She tensed against me. “Are you all right?”
“I … I wish I’d been more open with you when we were younger. I think I convinced myself that being strong meant not burdening people with my problems and only taking on theirs.”
Taran was still tense. Then slowly she relaxed. “I think you’re right.”
Relief moved through me, giving me the confidence to continue. “I know you know that it hurt when my dad left, and I know I’ve told you that it was the reason I married Kiera … but I need you to know how deep that wound was, Taran. It’s not an excuse, but it is a reason.”
She let out a shaky breath, and I peered down at her. Her lashes were lowered over her eyes so I couldn’t see her expression. “Okay.” Her fingers flexed on my chest.
I covered her hand with mine and squeezed. As the memories of watching my father walk out the door hit me, it made my throat tight. All these years later and it still fucking hurt. “I’d heard him and Mum arguing. I could only pick up snatches of what was being said, but she was accusing him of seeing a woman on the mainland. He told her it was her fault. That he didn’t want this life, and she’d trapped him into it.
“I was sitting outside,” I remembered. “On the front stoop. And he walked right by me with his suitcase. I called out to him and he ignored me. So I ran after him, tugging on his hand. He … he shrugged me off and told me to get back inside.” As a father, I couldn’t imagine ever abandoning my children. And to do it the way he did it. Unthinkable. “He didn’t even say goodbye. Even as he got in the car and drove off, I didn’t realize he was leaving for good because he didn’t even say goodbye.”
“Quinn.” Taran turned her head to look up at me, tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“He was the first person who broke my heart,” I admitted raggedly. “It changed me. To my core. I promised myself I would never break my child’s heart like that.” Sorrow shuddered through me. “Instead, I broke yours like that. And I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself.”
She suddenly pushed up to sitting, her eyes searching and wet with tears. Something shifted in her. Some kind of understanding. “I know what it’s like to not be able to forgive yourself. I used to hold so much guilt for not coming back here and staying away from Mum for all those years. When she was dying, I told her I couldn’t forgive myself for all the time lost between us. She said there was nothing to forgive because we spoke every day, so it was like I was here, anyway.”
I brushed my knuckles over her smooth face, tracing the hollow of her cheekbone. “Your mum was the most gracious woman I’ve ever met. She told me there was nothing to forgive too.”
Taran smiled tearfully as she grabbed my hand, squeezing it so tightly it was almost painful. “Maybe … maybe if I forgive you for the both of us, I’ll learn to forgive myself too. So I forgive you, Quinn. I forgive you. I can’t promise you tomorrow with me … but I can forgive you. We were just kids. We were just kids and I’m so sorry for holding on to it for so long.” She suddenly sobbed.