Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 105748 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 529(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105748 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 529(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 352(@300wpm)
I felt a surge of tender pride and admiration. Because I wasn’t sure how I would have reacted after surviving an abusive relationship. “You’re incredible, you know that?”
“I’m not. I … I’m one of the lucky ones, Taran, as stupid as that sounds. The worst of it didn’t start until we were months into the relationship and I only had months of the really bad shit before I got out. There are women, children, who’ve been locked in that hell for years.”
“It doesn’t lessen your experiences.”
“I know that. But you gotta have perspective, right? Tierney showed me that. She lost her parents in the most unimaginable way, and even through her grief, she fought. She fought knowing it could cost her everything, including her life, not just to bring her parents justice but … to live, Taran. To live. Not just to survive the future or exist in the past. To live. Now.”
The words hit me with such force, a shivery prickle of goose bumps rose across my arms. Emotion I’d kept locked at bay all day stung my nose.
“I’m trying. I really am. I feel safe and content here. But then this happened.” She gestured to the room. “And that bastard is my first thought. Did he find me? Is this a threat? Am I in danger? Are you in danger? How will I get away this time? Is this my life forever? Moving on, trying to forget, and then something happens to remind me that I’m not safe. That I’m never safe. I don’t want to exist like that. I want to live.”
I blinked back tears and cleared my throat. “You are, London. A moment of panic, of remembrance, doesn’t mean you’re not living your life. You were right. What happened to you has changed you. Just like losing Mum has changed me. It doesn’t mean we’re not living. We’re just … different from who we were before. It’s sad. We’re allowed to be sad about that.”
London swiped away a traitorous tear. “I know you’re right. It’s just … I got a little too comfortable. Stopped waiting for the other shoe to drop. I liked being too comfortable.”
“You’ll get there again. I’m sorry the break-in did that to you.”
She sniffed with a snort. “You’re sorry? Taran, I’m so sorry. Your mom’s jewelry …”
“It’s just things. All that matters is that we’re safe. Thanks to that bloody huge dead bolt Quinn put on the door.” I rolled my eyes.
London chuckled, just as I hoped she would. “Girl, you are so in trouble there. He is …” She flapped a hand in front of her face. “It’s hot when he gets all worried about you. And he doesn’t get all controlling with it. Green flags.”
“To make up for all the red ones he displayed when we were kids?”
She cocked her head in thought. “Were there a lot?”
I shrugged. “Who knows at this point?”
“Hey, it’s me. You don’t have to watch what you say with me. I’m not Cammie, I don’t have an agenda to make you forgive Quinn. How … how are you really feeling? He’s been in your orbit a lot lately.”
Realizing she was right and that I was suffocating alone in my thoughts, everything poured out of me. I derived a great deal of relief telling London about the moment in the lifeboat station with Quinn. “Now he wants a chance to tell his part of the story. And I … I need to know.” I grimaced. “But I’m kind of terrified why I need to know. I … and this stays strictly between you and me.”
“Of course. I won’t tell a soul.”
“I’m still attracted to him.” I shrugged with more than a hint of bitterness. “I think I’ll always have those feelings for Quinn. There’s so much history between us. Yet he devastated me once, and I know he could do it again if I let him get too close. So I’m in a quandary. Do I find out what I need to know? Or do I take the safe road and forget our past and move on with clear boundaries between us?”
London considered my question, taking her time before she responded. “I think … there will never be clear boundaries between you until you have all the information, Taran. If Quinn says there is a part of the story you’re missing … I think you need to hear it and make up your mind then.”
Strangely, her words lifted a heaviness from my shoulders. “Thank you.”
“Thank you.” She let out a shaky wee laugh. “What would we do without each other now?”
“I hope we never have to find out.”
“I’ve only got a year left on this work visa.” Her tone was teasing, but I saw the glimmer of worry there.
“Well, you’ll get an extension. And then maybe you’ll feel ready to date again and marry a handsome Scotsman so you never have to leave.”