Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 48187 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 241(@200wpm)___ 193(@250wpm)___ 161(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 48187 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 241(@200wpm)___ 193(@250wpm)___ 161(@300wpm)
“You can’t woo me with candy,” I lie. He totally can and does it all the time.
“I better take it back then,” he teases.
I snatch the sucker and stuff it into my purse. “Are you on break?”
When I started dialysis, I had a choice between three places and the hospital. I chose the hospital so Daniel would be accessible. Sometimes, when we’re super bored, he’ll hang out with Taylor and me to help pass the time.
“I’m off early. Thought maybe we could go to that bookshop you love. Maybe even visit Aiden’s restaurant for some dinner.” He sits in the chair beside me and wraps an arm around me. “I missed you.”
I lean against him and relax. “Missed you too.”
“Are you feeling up to it?”
Truth is, I’m tired today. Groggy and weak. Crabby.
But I feel like that just about every day, so I grin it and bear it like usual.
“How about we save the bookshop for another day and just hit Aiden’s instead?”
Daniel, always the perceptive one, assesses my features and gives me a nod. “Perfect.”
My chest aches and I feel hollow. We’re as perfect as we can be without my deteriorating body putting a damper on things. I wish our lives were easier for us. When I feel eyes on me, I catch Taylor watching us.
Longing.
Sadness.
Emptiness.
I offer him a bright smile. It could always be worse. Taylor, of all people, knows this.
Thankfully, he smiles back.
“You’re off. Everything okay?” Daniel asks, walking out of his bathroom looking like a tasty daddy snack in his flannel pajama pants.
“It is now,” I say, biting on my bottom lip and waggling my brows at him suggestively.
He laughs. “You can’t fool me, pervert.”
I pretend to be annoyed at his words, but the moment he curls up beside me and wraps a possessive arm around me, I forget how to be mad. In his arms, I’m happy. Loved. Secure.
“You remember how I said I don’t want to have kids?” I say against his chest, running my fingertips along the grooves.
“I do.”
“Well, I haven’t proposed yet, sheesh,” I tease.
He chuckles. “You’re extra silly when you’re stressed. Why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you?”
I let out a heavy sigh. “I meant physically. But I still want to be a mom one day, you know?” I tilt my head up to look at him.
“You know I’ll give you whatever makes you happy,” he says, his green eyes burning with intensity. “Anything.”
“Anything?”
“Anything.”
“I want your cock then.” It’s not a lie, it’s just not the actual thing I was thinking about. I want a family. Him. A future.
“I’ll give you my cock first. Then I’ll give you the rest.”
Sometimes it freaks me out how well he can read me.
Mostly, I’m just extremely thankful.
Oh God.
Oh God.
Tears burn like acid down my temples as I writhe on the bed. Sometimes, the pain is too intense. The stupid rupturing cysts and chronic kidney infections are killing me. Pun intended. I can’t even laugh at my own joke because a sob chases it away. I’m drenched in sweat, but I’m also cold. My eyes are squeezed shut so tight, I have no idea what time of day it is or anything.
I need to call Daniel.
Or Dad.
Or Landon.
I need someone.
Sucking in a harsh breath, I pry a hand away from my aching abdomen and pat around the bed on a hunt for my phone. I squint at the bright screen, trying to make sense of it, but the blinding headache throbbing in my skull makes it difficult. Bile rises in my throat and I swallow it down. I don’t have the energy or strength to crawl out of this bed and into the bathroom.
The phone slips from my grip when another wave of pain assaults me. All I can do is sob for my mommy. If she were here, she’d know just what to do. Moms are amazing like that. Everyone should have a mom like I had. This makes me cry harder. It also makes me think about other people who don’t have moms. People like Taylor. Life is a cruel sonofabitch. Yeah, life’s totally a man, because it’s the one doing all the fucking around here.
“Lauren,” Dad’s voice booms out, echoing inside my head.
“Daddy,” I whimper. “It hurts.”
“Shhh, baby girl,” he coos, his palm going to my forehead. “I’m going to get you to the hospital. Want me to call Daniel too or is he there?”
I don’t know.
I don’t know anything.
A wave of nausea hits and I puke all over my poor father.
Sorry, Daddy.
“Hi, Lauren,” a man greets. “I’m Wendell. How are you feeling?”
I blink at an unfamiliar man.
“Where am I?” I croak.
“In the ambulance,” Dad says from the other side.
“Why?”
“Figured you’d like to ride in style,” Wendell offers.
I fade in and out of consciousness. Everything is a blur of activity when I make it to the hospital. Dad goes missing. I cry. Just when I think I’ve been abandoned, my favorite doctor strides in, worry contorting his handsome face.