Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 77265 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 386(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77265 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 386(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
I AM LULU
She snatches the iPad out of my grip and hugs it to her chest. Defiance shines in her dark eyes as if she wants me to fight her for it. Fortunately, I know how and when to choose my battles. Her art is important to her, and clearly, private.
But what does it mean?
I want to ask her but bite my tongue.
Is it some alter ego? A tough, brave version of herself?
How can she be so afraid in one moment but seem so fierce in the next?
“I’ll keep you posted,” I say as I stand. “Want to play a game of dominoes later?”
She relaxes and nods. “I’ll beat you again.”
“You can try.”
With those words, I leave my little sister to her art. It’s apparently therapeutic for her. I bypass my office, which I hate these days, and head for my room to get out of these stuffy dress clothes. When I enter my closet, I get a faint whiff of perfume.
Red dress.
Sex against a sleek luxury car.
Fingers in my hair and heels digging into my ass.
I can’t remember the last woman I slept with. I’m not exactly the kind of man who likes to date. It’s complicated and time-consuming. But clearly, I dated someone and it’s still something I think about.
If she meant anything to you, though, you’d remember.
I like the idea of the pretty blonde with the sad eyes from the iPad being that woman. It makes me wonder if I could make her smile. If I could kiss her in all the right places to make her moan.
Who are you, love?
What is your name?
My phone buzzes with an incoming message. The screensaver on my phone is a picture of me and Calista sitting in the game room playing our dominoes game. I remember Theo took the picture, catching us off guard. We’d turned to look at the camera wearing the same dumfounded expression.
But that’s where the similarities end.
Both our parents had dark brown hair and tanned complexions. I have Dad’s same strong nose and Mom’s lips.
Calista with her black hair and nearly black eyes looks like…well, no one I know. Certainly not like me.
Whenever I ponder shit like this, I unravel. I feel fucking insane. There’s no one I can talk about it with either. Dad would probably put me through the CUP program if he thought I was defective. I imagine Theo would go straight to Dad with my secrets. And I’m too busy trying to protect Calista to confide my crazy in her.
Pushing away those stressful thoughts, I pop open my phone to look at the message she sent me. The picture of the woman, through a teenage artist’s rendition, is striking.
There’s something about the mysterious blonde.
I need to know who she is.
I will find out who she is.
She’s a real person. That much I feel in my bones.
Don’t worry, love, I’ll find you.
I always find what I’m looking for.
Romy
It’s me, Caius.
The whispered words, in a deep, familiar voice, wake me with a jolt. I can almost smell his scent lingering in the air—one I think I know well.
Who are you, secret lover?
Why can’t I remember you?
The baby in my belly kicks and my heart rate quickens. What if this mysterious Caius is the father of my baby? Maybe I have amnesia and have a whole life away from this prison-like home with my “husband.” What if my real husband is looking for me?
This is where, in the past, I’d chide myself for weaving fantastical stories that aren’t true. But things are different now.
Something’s wrong with my life.
It’s a fraud.
Seth may seem to be my husband, but I feel no love for him. I noticed this yesterday when I’d come out of the mental fog I’d been in.
I can remember the past several months, but I don’t feel like I was an active participant.
What changed yesterday and woke me up?
Slowly, I slide out of bed, careful not to wake Seth. Last night, after pizza, he was back to his usual friendly self. And though I played a game of pretend, my mind continued to sort pieces of the puzzle that is my life.
I make it to the bathroom to pee because this baby stays on my bladder and let my mind wander, closing my eyes to conjure up the mysterious Caius.
Nothing.
Not even a partial glimpse of a memory.
It’s like he’s been erased from my mind.
I wonder if Seth has something to do with that. He has that app on his phone. And when it doesn’t work, he takes me into the lab. After the visit, I end up leaving feeling like a slate wiped clean. Empty. Blank. Vanished.
Yesterday, the app didn’t work, but I pretended it did.
What changed?
Is it broken? Does it need an update?
There’s a clue here and it’s an important one. I need to put my finger on it. Think, Romy!