Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 77120 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 386(@200wpm)___ 308(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77120 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 386(@200wpm)___ 308(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
I sit back, jaw clenched. I don’t want to hear this. Yet I know she’s right.
“If you go looking for your birth mother hoping she’ll fix something inside you,” Aunt Melanie continues, “you’re going to be disappointed. She might be kind. She might be cruel. She might not remember your birthday or even your face. But whatever she is, that’s not where healing lives.”
I stare at the table, heat rising behind my eyes.
“You think I haven’t seen this before?” she says gently. “I’ve seen too many people walk into their pasts thinking it would unbreak them. All it does is shake loose the pieces. Sometimes that’s good. Sometimes it’s chaos.”
“What if I just need chaos?” I murmur.
She gives a quiet laugh, but there’s no humor in it. “Then be ready to sit in it. But don’t confuse the chaos with clarity. You still have to decide who you are. Who you want to be. And no one—not your birth mother, not your sister, not even me—can do that work for you.”
The kitchen goes still again.
I swallow hard. “So what do I do?”
“Start small,” she says. “Tell yourself the truth, even when it hurts. Feel it. Let it wreck you for a minute if it has to. And then take one step forward. Even if it’s just breathing through the day.”
I nod, not sure I can speak.
She reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. “You’re not lost, sweetheart. You’re just starting to find your way.”
I draw in a breath. “I have to go. Jason needs—”
“No need to make excuses,” Aunt Mel says. “Go on. Do your duty today. I’ll see you later at the wedding. But Henry?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re still you.” She smiles warmly. “It’s true that our decisions and our actions affect us, but they don’t define us. Never forget that.”
Thirty-One
Tabitha
The giant recreation room of Angie’s parents’ house has been turned into a makeshift salon. Willow White and her assistant, Ginger, are here to do our hair and makeup. Stephen is also here, offering chair massages to help us relax for the big day.
It would have been nice if he’d mentioned that to me last night. I figured I wouldn’t see him again until the wedding.
Maybe Sage brought him on at the last minute. She certainly seems to want to get under his care…and I’m not talking about a massage table.
I’m feeling better. Angie’s ibuprofen and water helped a lot, as did black coffee. All the bridesmaids arrived at noon to a beautiful luncheon that Marjorie prepared—by herself!—for us. The offerings are delicate but elegant. Chilled poached salmon with a lemon-dill sauce accompanied by a baby arugula salad with shaved fennel, candied pecans, pears, and a champagne vinaigrette, and petite croissants with thinly sliced prosciutto and brie. The whole thing is rounded out by a trio of finger sandwiches on brioche rounds—cucumber-mint, chicken salad with tarragon, and curried egg salad. All of this we wash down with sparkling rosé garnished with fresh raspberries. I’m feeling better now, so I allow myself one glass.
I’m polishing it off as Willow finishes my hair, and I’m next in line for makeup.
Stephen comes toward me. “Your turn for a massage, Tabitha.”
This isn’t awkward at all.
My date from last night who bored me to tears.
A nice guy, but…
He flashes me another smile. God, he’s handsome. And so not my type. “I can try some Reiki on you if you’d like. You seemed interested last night.”
A massage where no one’s touching me? No thanks.
Then again…
I don’t want to give Stephen the wrong idea about our date for the wedding. Having him not touch me might be a good thing.
“Sure,” I say. “Let’s try it.”
He leads me over to a plush leather reclining chair away from the chaos. It’s near the window overlooking the lush gardens. Stephen stands behind me, his hands hovering above my shoulders.
“Just close your eyes and relax,” he says.
I do as he says.
“Picture a golden light.” Stephen’s voice is soft and soothing. “Imagine it flowing from my hands and into you, melting away any stress or tension.”
I want to scoff at his words but decide against it.
Why not try it? Can’t hurt.
And he’s a nice guy. In his head, he’s actually doing something that might help me.
I imagine the sun shining down on me while I lie on a white sand beach, its warmth infusing my skin, and the salty scent of the ocean…
Relax…
Relax…
Relax…
Yeah, nothing.
Only giggles from across the room. I open one eye. Ginger holds up a garish red lipstick.
“Tabitha,” she calls across the room, holding the lipstick and grinning. “How about this for your makeup?”
“No way,” I protest, but Stephen’s gentle voice brings me back into focus.
“It’s okay, Tabitha. Just breathe and concentrate on the light.”
I try, but…
Nothing again.
Just as I thought. Reiki is crap.
“I think it’s my turn for makeup,” I tell him, opening my eyes.