Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 106003 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 530(@200wpm)___ 424(@250wpm)___ 353(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106003 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 530(@200wpm)___ 424(@250wpm)___ 353(@300wpm)
My instincts wake up before my mind can, but once the stranger steps into the spring sun, I’m blinded by the golden hue of his hair.
My toes curl.
My heartbeat quickens.
I close my teeth on the side of my nail.
There’s a pulsing in my lips and temples as I watch the boy glance left and right before crossing the street. He’s wearing lightweight harem pants, and his T-shirt is a tad too short, offering a peek of his abdomen. I can’t look away from that thin strip of bare flesh, and by the time he enters the Gravy Fountain, I’m salivating.
I discreetly take in every golden bit of him, including the two drop earrings. The tan, the freckles, the blond waves cut into a messy shag. He’s so fucking cute and everything I’m not. He orders at the counter, and when he turns to face the window, I can see his eyes are bright blue even from where I’m sitting. I gasp at the little rainbow pin on his denim messenger bag. I’ve never been good at telling who’s gay and who isn’t, after all, maybe they’re just artistic, or like fashion? How the fuck would scum like me know?
He doesn’t retreat to his own booth like I have. No, this sunshine boy smiles widely at Ruby, the waitress, and sits at the counter for an easy chat that makes even her grumpy features brighten—something I’ve not managed in the two years I’ve been coming here. He’s giving me a great view of a bit of his spine and the colorful waistband of his underwear peeking out from his pants.
I chew faster, thinking of how I could walk past him and brush my fingers over that bit of exposed skin.
I used to think I’d never have a man of my own, being a biker and all, but now that our village has welcomed its first gay couple, that certainty changed to bitterness. It was easier to swallow that I’m an unfuckable virgin at twenty-five due to homophobia rather than my own social ineptitude.
But the truth is that I’m torn even on the question whether I should seek someone out in the first place. When my friend, Road, came out to the whole club by demanding we take his lover under our protection, it was a revelation. I took that as an opportunity to come out as well, and for a few days felt a strong desire to go out there and meet someone.
But I’ve since deleted Grindr, where I haven’t dared message a single person, I’ve stopped perusing personals on Craigslist, and every pretty boy remains a piece of candy I can only lick through the wrapper.
Why put myself out there, only to be rejected? The men I like are way out of my league, so why would they settle on someone who’s nothing like the charismatic heroes populating books and movies?
They always smell of something fancy, like cedarwood or smoke, where I’m just soap and my own musk. They speak with confidence, I sometimes lose my voice. So maybe I am relatively tall and toned. I have broad shoulders and large, veiny hands, but I know I’m way too angular to be anyone’s dream man.
And as I watch my newest target laugh with Ruby as he slurps a milkshake, I have to face the elephant in the room.
I’m also plain fucking weird, and I know it. I wouldn’t go as far as saying I’m at peace with that, but I’ve found my comforts, and I want one of them to come true tonight. I won’t be attempting to talk to this cutie. I won’t be casually putting my hand on the small of his back. And I won’t be asking for his number.
I’ll follow him home, and if I’m lucky, he’ll have a bed with space under it where I can crawl in and listen to his breathing, sense him turning on the mattress above. I’ll get to see where he lives, smell his room, enjoy his company, maybe steal his underwear, ‘cause I’m a pervert like that, and be on my way before he wakes
Him getting up is my cue.
My hand trembles a little when I reach for my wallet, but I leave the cash next to my unfinished meal and rise.
My sunshine pulls a longline sweater out of his bag and puts it on, covering the lovely bit of skin I’ve been eyeing. But it’s fine. I will enjoy this boy all night long.
I take long strides, planning to reach my bike before he leaves the Gravy Fountain, but Ruby blocks my way, the wide smile she had for him fading at the sight of me. “You’re leaving already? Wait a second, I have something for my sister. Could you please pass it to her?”
My gaze follows the boy out the door and to his old blue Ford as I try to find the words that will get me out of the conversation the fastest. “Ah… yeah. Give it to me.” Her sister lives at Vulture Hollow, and I can easily leave the parcel on her doorstep with no need to even talk to her.