Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 87629 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87629 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
He doesn’t meet my gaze. “No. We didn’t. I made a mistake. I should’ve never taken you to the club.”
“You can say that again,” I agree.
“I just… I can’t feel that way about you, Mandy. It was a mistake, and it won’t happen again.”
“Okay, Jackson. You’ve made your point. Now throw that disgusting cold coffee down the drain and get the hell out of here.”
He doesn’t move and instead takes another drink of the cold coffee. “All right, Mandy. As long as you understand.” He sets the cup down on the counter.
“I understand fully. But let me be clear as well.” I gather my courage, determined to break out of my introverted shell. “I enjoyed myself, Jackson. I enjoyed what I saw. I’m intrigued. I honestly had no idea a place like that even existed. A place where people can explore their baser instincts. I enjoyed it because I needed it. I’ve been out of circulation for too long, Jackson. Far too long. I deserve better. You know what? I do need a teacher. I realize it can’t be you, and that’s fine. I never wanted it to be you in the first place. I didn’t even know you were on Lustr. There were a lot of other men in the club. Men who aren’t attached, or you wouldn’t have been so worried about me being uncollared. I’m betting there’s someone there who might be willing to tutor me.”
He stiffens, leaning against my counter and gripping it, his knuckles white. “The place isn’t for you, Mandy.”
“Not for me? I think it was you who took me there. How can you say that?”
“We’ve been through this. It was a mistake. I’m not sure what I was thinking.”
“I know exactly what you were thinking, Jack. You were thinking that I was too sweet and innocent for something like that, and that I’d go running out screaming.”
He says nothing.
Yep. Nailed it.
“I didn’t run out screaming.”
“You told me to take you home.”
I can’t deny it. I did tell him that, but not for the reason he thinks. I loved what happened between us, and I was intrigued by the club. I wanted to go home because he got quiet and sullen after we had sex.
He has a lot of regrets, clearly.
I do not.
But it’s time to let my unrequited love for him go. He’s made it very clear that he doesn’t feel the same way, and that’s okay. Well, it’s not okay. It sucks a big donkey dick, but what choice do I have?
Now that I know the place exists, I can find it again. They won’t let me in, of course, but maybe I can meet some other people who go there. Maybe get another invite.
The bartender last night—Alfred—clearly works for the club as well as the bar. Maybe the bar is part of the club.
“I have to get to work,” Jackson says.
“Don’t let me stop you. I have work to do as well.”
“Mandy…”
“Can we please just not go there again? Please, Jack? I had a nice time last night, but I agree with you. It was a mistake.”
He walks toward me slowly, trails a finger over my cheek. “Then why have you been crying?”
Why, indeed? Because I’ve been in love with you for fifteen years and you don’t see me that way. Because you think I can’t handle the kind of sex you like. Because, because, because…
Because what I want most in the world will never be.
My cheeks burn where he touched me. “It’s nothing. I had an allergy attack in the middle of the night.”
“All right, Mandy.”
He doesn’t believe me. I know this, but he’s letting me off the hook. He’s still Jackson. And he still loves me as a friend. As a damned friend.
“This won’t affect our friendship, Jack,” I say.
A breezy sigh pushes out of him. “Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you, Mandy Cake.” This time he makes it to the door. He drops a chaste kiss on my forehead. “Love you.”
After he closes the door, I lean against it for a moment.
“I love you, too, Jack.”
Chapter Sixteen
Jackson
Back at the office, I’m preparing for a meeting when my secretary buzzes me.
“What is it, Jenny? I told you I couldn’t be disturbed this afternoon.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Paris, but Mr. Black wants to see you.”
“Ben? Sure, what does he need?”
“Not Ben Black,” Jenny says. “Braden Black.”
I work directly under Ben. I don’t see Braden much. He’s quieter than Ben and keeps to himself for the most part. He’s engaged to be married and spends what little free time he has with his fiancée.
Why would he want to see me? One thing’s for sure—no matter how busy I am, I can’t say no when Braden Black calls.
“All right. Send him in.”
“He’s not here. He wants you to go up to his office.”