Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 89032 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 445(@200wpm)___ 356(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89032 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 445(@200wpm)___ 356(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
This is different though. It’s like the world knew I had one decent thing in my life, and now it’s going to take her away.
My feather. My saint.
Sold to my little brother.
The idea makes me so fucking sick I could vomit.
“Cormac? Are you alright?” Mom’s staring at me. Now they’re all looking in my direction.
I shove back from the table, hands shaking. “Fine. Just had a hard night. Is that all?”
“We were hoping we could all have dinner together.” Mom partially rises, looking concerned. “Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m fine.” I turn away, struggling not to snap at her. Mom doesn’t deserve my rage. Nobody does, except for my own foolish self. “Congratulations, Finn.”
“Yeah, thanks, bro. Seriously, you’re looking pale.”
“I’m going to head home and get some rest.” I leave the dining room before anyone can say any different. What’s it matter at this point if they think I’m weird?
I’m already Cormac the Ghostman. The family’s personal monster.
“Hold on a second.” Mom’s voice as I jab at the elevator call button. Fucker can’t come fast enough. “Are you sure you’re okay? That girl, Bianca—”
I cut her off. “I just need some time alone. That’s all.”
“Right. Okay.” She touches my arm. “I love you, Cormac. You know that? I’m happy you came tonight.”
“I know.”
“And this thing with Finn, it’s just for the family. That’s all.”
I stare at her, inwardly cracking to pieces. “I wish him nothing but the best. Why would I care either way?”
“Right. Of course.” She smiles at me, but it’s empty, and I wonder what she knows. How much of my pain she can see. Our mother was eighteen when she had Declan, and she barely knows a life before we were in it. She knows us all better than we know ourselves.
I’m tempted to confess. Tell her how sick her second oldest really is. Tell her all the sins, all the darkness, all the horrors and the freakish obsessions, and maybe she can absolve me. At least maybe she can understand.
But I say nothing, and the elevator arrives.
Chapter 4
Bianca
Ican’t bring myself to tell Kate first thing. I woke up planning on breaking the news about my upcoming marriage and leaving Grace House, but I’m too much of a coward.
This place has been like a second family to me. The idea of leaving feels totally wrong and terrifying. I know they’ll be fine without me. Kate will find someone else to take my shifts, and the extra money will be enormous for them, but still.
It’s like I’m letting them down.
Instead of having the hard conversation, I throw myself into my usual volunteer shift at Grace House. Which isn’t easy, but at least it’s rewarding. I clean the bathrooms, help with intake forms, organize the bills, and make sure Kate cut the right checks, and even put in some more babysitting time. By the end of the day, I’m exhausted.
But I can’t put this off forever.
“You’re still here?” Kate glances up from her desk, frowning slightly. “Better run before I give you another job.”
“Please do. We both know I have nowhere else to be.”
She snorts a little laugh and leans back to study me. “You know, Bianca, you ever think about going back to school? You’d make a fantastic social worker.”
I wave off the idea. “Never going to happen.”
“I know. I just worry about you sometimes, that’s all.”
“Really?” I take a seat, feeling jittery and nervous. “I figure you have bigger worries.”
“Oh, I know. Everyone that comes through here is on my mind all the time. But I also know your home life is… complicated.”
She doesn’t elaborate. My family connections aren’t exactly secret. She knows my last name, and she’s street savvy enough to ask the right people the right questions. Kate knows exactly who I am and who my family is, but she never talks about it. At least she never did before.
“My home life is kind of why I’m here,” I admit sheepishly. “I have some bad news.”
“If you’re in trouble, you know we could help.” The offer comes so easy and normal, like it’s something she says all the time. She keeps it casual, but I know what that means.
And for a second, I’m tempted.
Run away from the Famiglia. Refuse to marry that Whelan man. I’d have to start my life all over from scratch, but there are resources that could help me. Kate’s not making some empty offer.
“It’s not like that,” I say quickly before I change my mind. “But something did come up, and I guess I won’t be able to volunteer here anymore in a few weeks.” Tears suddenly choke me. I expected to feel awkward, but I didn’t expect to start crying. “Sorry, this is harder than I thought.”
“Oh, Bianca.” Kate comes around her desk and sits next to me. She puts a hand on my shoulder and pulls me in for a light hug. “You know how much we love you here, don’t you?”